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SV_Harbinger · 25-02-2019, 08:12

Three Dr's were talking at the bar about their favorite kind of patients. The first DR says mathematicians were his favorite because all their parts were numbered. The second DR says no engineers were his favorite because not only are all there parts numbered but there were always diagrams to show how they were supposed to go together. The last DR laughs and says no politicians are the best because they have no guts, no spine, and their head and "rear" were interchangeable.....

SaltyMetals · 25-02-2019, 08:18

Ok, a maths joke for the non-mathematicians:
Cop asks the lady how old she is so she replies
"Well, when we married i was 18 and my husband 25. He is now 50 which is double so that makes me 36".......

SV_Harbinger · 25-02-2019, 08:29

A couple of sailors were talking about their boats and how great they are, when one says to the other, that his favorite has to be his dinghy, his arguments being that it is very maneuverable and that since he rows it, the power plant is as reliable as he is, and has never failed him. The other laughs and says you forgot one thing.... she's a little tender...

senormechanico · 25-02-2019, 08:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by SV_Harbinger

Three Dr's were talking at the bar about their favorite kind of patients. The first DR says mathematicians were his favorite because all their parts were numbered. The second DR says no engineers were his favorite because not only are all there parts numbered but there were always diagrams to show how they were supposed to go together. The last DR laughs and says no politicians are the best because they have no guts, no spine, and their head and "rear" were interchangeable.....

Then a cruiser entered the bar. When he overheard their conversation, he just had to add his two cents.

"You doctors have it made !
We cruisers are all around the world and have to fix lots of different systems on our boats with no outside help, and often without diagrams or parts being available.

Often, we have to MAKE parts to fit.

You doctors have it easy with only two models to work on !

Eigenvector · 25-02-2019, 11:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by senormechanico

..........

You doctors have it easy with only two models to work on !

However this punchline from another Dr. Joke:

... to which the proctologist said to the mechanic: Try doing all that work thru the tailpipe.

socaldmax · 25-02-2019, 18:00

LakeSuperior · 26-02-2019, 07:26

My uncle drank a whole quart of Captains varnish.

It was a horrible death but a lovely finish.

LakeSuperior · 26-02-2019, 07:28

Sir, you've got an extremely rare disease

Me: "How rare?"

Doctor: "You pick the name"

LakeSuperior · 26-02-2019, 07:29

Two police officers crash their car into a tree.

After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”

LakeSuperior · 26-02-2019, 07:31

And one more!

I tortured a vegan by force-feeding him venison.

He was screaming for deer life!

**GordMay** · 26-02-2019, 07:39

The Devil tells a salesman, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any salesman alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest salesman that ever lived."

"Well," says the salesman, "what do I have to do in return?"

The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."

"Wait a minute," the salesman says cautiously, "What's the catch?"

**GordMay** · 26-02-2019, 07:45

People say I'm quite contrarian.
But I disagree.

I have a theory that it’s impossible to prove anything.
But I can’t prove it.

I may not be the only egomaniac in the world.
But, I’m the only one who matters.