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Old 09-08-2020, 16:01   #12091
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I know this is the joke thread, but there is a growing problem with people drinking hand sanitizer for it's alcohol content. This is no joke.
definitely agree it is no joke...but it is darwin at work again

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Old 09-08-2020, 16:08   #12092
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I know this is the joke thread, but there is a growing problem with people drinking hand sanitizer for it's alcohol content. This is no joke.
Good thing the government is poisoning it to protect tax revenue, otherwise they would just get drunk, instead of going blind.
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Old 09-08-2020, 17:59   #12093
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I know this is the joke thread, but there is a growing problem with people drinking hand sanitizer for it's alcohol content. This is no joke.
Of course not.

It's natural selection.
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Old 09-08-2020, 18:03   #12094
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I believe Aqua Velva used to be the sailors' tipple of choice.....
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Old 09-08-2020, 19:52   #12095
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 09-08-2020, 19:52   #12096
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 09-08-2020, 19:53   #12097
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Old 09-08-2020, 19:53   #12098
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Old 09-08-2020, 20:51   #12099
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I know this is the joke thread, but there is a growing problem with people drinking hand sanitizer for it's alcohol content. This is no joke.
I have mixed drinks about feelings with regards to this.
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Old 10-08-2020, 01:04   #12100
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Malka goes to consult with Dr. Cohen about reviving her husband’s libido.
“I’ll give you some Viagra,” he says .
“Thanks, but Moshe will never take it. Moshe hates pills.”
“In that case," says the doctor, "when he’s not looking drop one in his morning coffee. He won’t even know it’s there. Call me next week and let me know if it helped.”
When Malka calls the doctor he asks her how the little experiment worked out.
“We had mixed results, Dr. Cohen,” she says “The pill worked immediately . Within minutes, he leaped up to his feet, tore off my dress, and made love to me right there on the table.”
“That’s wonderful” says the doctor . “So what’s the problem?”
"I’m pretty sure they’ll never let us into that particular Starbucks again.”

I need to clean my spectacles. I read the first line as '...revving her husband's dildo'.



The brain (mine) is a strange organ! In fact it is said that the brain is the largest sexual organ.
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Old 10-08-2020, 01:18   #12101
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Old 10-08-2020, 10:45   #12102
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Old 10-08-2020, 19:09   #12103
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 12-08-2020, 00:28   #12104
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Old 12-08-2020, 00:29   #12105
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Paddy is told by his pregnant wife after her ultrasound scan that she is carrying triplets.

She lets him know in no uncertain terms that she blames him for using 3 in 1 oil as a lubricant after the KY jelly ran out.

He replied " It's a bloody good job that came to hand before the WD 40 then.............."
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