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Old 25-02-2019, 09:12   #4591
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Three Dr's were talking at the bar about their favorite kind of patients. The first DR says mathematicians were his favorite because all their parts were numbered. The second DR says no engineers were his favorite because not only are all there parts numbered but there were always diagrams to show how they were supposed to go together. The last DR laughs and says no politicians are the best because they have no guts, no spine, and their head and "rear" were interchangeable.....
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Old 25-02-2019, 09:18   #4592
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Ok, a maths joke for the non-mathematicians:
Cop asks the lady how old she is so she replies
"Well, when we married i was 18 and my husband 25. He is now 50 which is double so that makes me 36".......
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Old 25-02-2019, 09:29   #4593
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A couple of sailors were talking about their boats and how great they are, when one says to the other, that his favorite has to be his dinghy, his arguments being that it is very maneuverable and that since he rows it, the power plant is as reliable as he is, and has never failed him. The other laughs and says you forgot one thing.... she's a little tender...
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Old 25-02-2019, 09:46   #4594
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by SV_Harbinger View Post
Three Dr's were talking at the bar about their favorite kind of patients. The first DR says mathematicians were his favorite because all their parts were numbered. The second DR says no engineers were his favorite because not only are all there parts numbered but there were always diagrams to show how they were supposed to go together. The last DR laughs and says no politicians are the best because they have no guts, no spine, and their head and "rear" were interchangeable.....


Then a cruiser entered the bar. When he overheard their conversation, he just had to add his two cents.


"You doctors have it made !
We cruisers are all around the world and have to fix lots of different systems on our boats with no outside help, and often without diagrams or parts being available.

Often, we have to MAKE parts to fit.

You doctors have it easy with only two models to work on !
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Old 25-02-2019, 12:40   #4595
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by senormechanico View Post
..........

You doctors have it easy with only two models to work on !



However this punchline from another Dr. Joke:


... to which the proctologist said to the mechanic: Try doing all that work thru the tailpipe.
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Old 25-02-2019, 19:00   #4596
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 26-02-2019, 08:26   #4597
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My uncle drank a whole quart of Captains varnish.

It was a horrible death but a lovely finish.
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Old 26-02-2019, 08:28   #4598
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Sir, you've got an extremely rare disease

Me: "How rare?"

Doctor: "You pick the name"
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Old 26-02-2019, 08:29   #4599
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Two police officers crash their car into a tree.

After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”
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Old 26-02-2019, 08:31   #4600
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Re: The New Joke Thread

And one more!


I tortured a vegan by force-feeding him venison.

He was screaming for deer life!
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Old 26-02-2019, 08:39   #4601
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The Devil tells a salesman, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any salesman alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest salesman that ever lived."

"Well," says the salesman, "what do I have to do in return?"

The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."

"Wait a minute," the salesman says cautiously, "What's the catch?"
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Old 26-02-2019, 08:45   #4602
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Re: The New Joke Thread

People say I'm quite contrarian.
But I disagree.

I have a theory that it’s impossible to prove anything.
But I can’t prove it.

I may not be the only egomaniac in the world.
But, I’m the only one who matters.
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Old 26-02-2019, 08:57   #4603
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Sounds quite familiar, can't quite put my finger on itClick image for larger version

Name:	s-l400.jpeg
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ID:	186671
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Old 26-02-2019, 11:17   #4604
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What did the fish say to the hook?



Take me to your leader.




What did the hook reply?





Bite me.
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Old 26-02-2019, 15:24   #4605
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
Sounds quite familiar, can't quite put my finger on itAttachment 186671
I must be a bit thick this morning. Anyone care to explain the joke?
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