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Old 10-08-2019, 05:54   #6091
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?
Human: we are an advanced species.
A: how do you travel?
H: we light old dinosaurs on fire.

Movie Plot Idea:
97% of the world's scientists contrive an environmental crisis, but are exposed by a plucky band of billionaires & oil companies.
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Old 10-08-2019, 09:51   #6092
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Re: The New Joke Thread

It says my post is too short and I must add 5 characters. OK. How about Groucho, Moe Larry, Curly, Laurel, and Hardy? That's 6.
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Old 10-08-2019, 10:10   #6093
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The message [I] have entered is too short. Please lengthen [my] message to at least 5 characters.
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Old 10-08-2019, 13:59   #6094
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Some of my jokes start off with "So I was down to the pub..."
It appears that now you can now rent an inflatable Irish pub.

Not only does "The Paddy Wagon Pub" provide a giant inflatable Irish-style pub set up right on your lawn, or marina parking lot , but they also provide bartenders and service staff to man the dang thing too, AND the booze!

Rated for 80 occupants.
Toilets not icluded.
Smoking inside might be problematic.


https://www.funnyordie.com/2019/8/7/...d-i-am-so-down


{I have no fiancial association with the product/firm. Posting this only as a source of amusement for other cruisers.}
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Old 10-08-2019, 14:47   #6095
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Put it on a pontoon boat and party on downriver!
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Old 10-08-2019, 17:20   #6096
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What did the Buddhist monk sat to the Tofu Hotdog vendor?

"Please make we one with everything"
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Old 10-08-2019, 20:10   #6097
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Re: The New Joke Thread

As a frequent traveller to London I became accustomed to hearing the phrase "Please mind the gap." coming over the tannoy while waiting to clamber aboard the tube train.

On my most recent trip I heard this:

"Please mind the gap -- between the time table and reality."


{There simply HAS to be a pub around here somewhere...}
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Old 10-08-2019, 20:16   #6098
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Srfnsnw100 View Post
What did the Buddhist monk sat to the Tofu Hotdog vendor?

"Please make we one with everything"

And when he paid with a $100 bill and asked for his change, the vendor said "Change must come from within".
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Old 10-08-2019, 21:05   #6099
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Old 11-08-2019, 10:12   #6100
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 11-08-2019, 18:34   #6101
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Re: The New Joke Thread

five letters
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Old 11-08-2019, 18:48   #6102
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Old 11-08-2019, 18:49   #6103
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Old 11-08-2019, 18:50   #6104
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Old 11-08-2019, 18:52   #6105
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