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Old 16-04-2019, 21:08   #5341
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Arnie should have eaten the peach in "Call Me by Your Name", as in the novel.
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Old 16-04-2019, 21:30   #5342
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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You are an evil human being, Sir.

(If the photo doesn't print it's the one encouraging one to smell a burning candle)
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Old 17-04-2019, 09:30   #5343
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A young boy asks his mom some time after his sister was born if she had wanted a boy or a girl.

The mom replied " I wanted a back rub"
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Old 17-04-2019, 09:34   #5344
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A magician stops a woman on a street....

“Pick a card, any card” he says. She grabs one at random. “Now, put it back, look away, and memorize that card." She turns away, memorizes it, and turns back to see that the magician had left. She shrugged off the incident and went home to her husband.

Fast forward 13 months.

“Push, PUSH” the midwife and doctors urged. “You’re almost there!” “The baby! She’s being born!” “But... what’s that in her HAND???” “It... it looks like...”

“Is THIS your card?” a familiar voice said.
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Old 17-04-2019, 09:35   #5345
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Re: The New Joke Thread

According to Wikipedia, whales play a crucial role in the fragile ocean ecosystem.

[cetacean needed]
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:10   #5346
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
A magician stops a woman on a street....

“Pick a card, any card” he says. She grabs one at random. “Now, put it back, look away, and memorize that card." She turns away, memorizes it, and turns back to see that the magician had left. She shrugged off the incident and went home to her husband.

Fast forward 13 months.

“Push, PUSH” the midwife and doctors urged. “You’re almost there!” “The baby! She’s being born!” “But... what’s that in her HAND???” “It... it looks like...”

“Is THIS your card?” a familiar voice said.

I gotta ask. Why 13 months later?
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:11   #5347
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:12   #5348
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:12   #5349
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:13   #5350
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:14   #5351
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:14   #5352
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:16   #5353
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:16   #5354
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Old 17-04-2019, 11:17   #5355
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