The New Joke Thread

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by GordMay

…
so we have to use logs."

Was it a managed forest or were those natural logs ?

[chrisr]

Originally Posted by GordMay

The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals, and so off they went, two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers, and the stomp of baby elephants.
Then he heard something he didn't recognise … a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods.
He went in, to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes, wielding a chainsaw.
"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"
"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders …
so we have to use logs."

OMG...that is simply...i don't know...words fail me...

[socaldmax]

Snakes.

Wielding a chainsaw.

I can almost...

nope. Still can't find the funny.

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Well, I'll be! I thought they were some sort of missile with fins and all that modern stuff.

I stand informed.

Jim

One assumes the smooth bores are recoiless guns.
Many modern tanks are smooth bores, the Russians have been for a long time, the Americans finally got tired of the German’s continually outshooting them every year at Graffenberg and bought the license to build the German gun to put on the M1 tank. I don’t think a rifled barrel can shoot the velocities they are seeing now.
Of course the smootbores fire sabots, the M1 I think fires a 22 lb depleted uranium dart at over a mile a second and has around 9 million ft lbs of energy in the projectile.

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Snakes.

Wielding a chainsaw.

I can almost...

nope. Still can't find the funny.

It's a math joke. Using logs (mathematical logs) you can multiply by adding.

log(a) + log (B) = a X b

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by Adelie

It's a math joke. Using logs (mathematical logs) you can multiply by adding.

log(a) + log (B) = a X b

And a damn funny one IMO!

Jim

[mlydon]

I think you guys should start a gun joke thread, alongside a gun comparison joke thread....should have looooooots of subscribers.

In the meantime,

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

And a damn funny one IMO!

Jim

That's entirely subjective.

Exactly like the tank joke.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

And a damn funny one IMO!

Jim

Especially the bit about the elephants with a gestation period of weeks

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

That's entirely subjective.

Exactly like the tank joke.

Sheesh, I don't think so, mate. Nothing whatsoever disgusting or offensive about some biblical snakes in the grass failing to multiply without some timber offcuts, especially when compared to pureed human flesh vomiting from a hole burned into armour plate when struck by some hellish weapon.

But perhaps I'm too finicky... I suppose that's possible.

Jim

[ArmyDaveNY]

Originally Posted by chrisr

OMG...that is simply...i don't know...words fail me...

Of course words would fail anyone. Logs use letters and numbers!

[Captain Rum]

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.


"Well, it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago, Chile in 2009," I informed him.


"Really?" he asked.


"No," I replied.

[sailorphil9]

Originally Posted by Adelie

It's a math joke. Using logs (mathematical logs) you can multiply by adding.

log(a) + log (B) = a X b

It thought it was funny but I think Adelie's equation should have read


log(a) + log(b) = log (a x b)


I could be wrong of course. It's been a long time since I did logs (well, at least 8 hrs since after breakfast).

[sailorphil9]

[GordMay]