Cruisers Forum
 


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 6 votes, 4.83 average. Display Modes
Old 19-10-2020, 12:34   #13291
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2016
Boat: McCurdy & Rhodes Custom 46
Posts: 818
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post

so we have to use logs."

Was it a managed forest or were those natural logs ?
dfelsent is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 16:16   #13292
Registered User
 
chrisr's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Australia
Boat: Tasman 40' catamaran
Posts: 852
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals, and so off they went, two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers, and the stomp of baby elephants.
Then he heard something he didn't recognise … a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods.
He went in, to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes, wielding a chainsaw.
"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"
"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders …
so we have to use logs."
OMG...that is simply...i don't know...words fail me...
__________________
"home is where the anchor drops"...back onboard at Iluka, getting ready to head south for Christmas... maintaining social distancing !
chrisr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 17:21   #13293
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,338
Re: The New Joke Thread

Snakes.

Wielding a chainsaw.

I can almost...

nope. Still can't find the funny.
socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 17:36   #13294
Moderator
 
a64pilot's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Jacksonville/ out cruising
Boat: Island Packet 38
Posts: 31,419
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Cate View Post
Well, I'll be! I thought they were some sort of missile with fins and all that modern stuff.

I stand informed.

Jim
One assumes the smooth bores are recoiless guns.
Many modern tanks are smooth bores, the Russians have been for a long time, the Americans finally got tired of the German’s continually outshooting them every year at Graffenberg and bought the license to build the German gun to put on the M1 tank. I don’t think a rifled barrel can shoot the velocities they are seeing now.
Of course the smootbores fire sabots, the M1 I think fires a 22 lb depleted uranium dart at over a mile a second and has around 9 million ft lbs of energy in the projectile.
a64pilot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 18:07   #13295
Moderator
 
Adelie's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: La Ciudad de la Misión Didacus de Alcalá en Alta California, Virreinato de Nueva España
Boat: Cal 20
Posts: 11,869
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Snakes.

Wielding a chainsaw.

I can almost...

nope. Still can't find the funny.
It's a math joke. Using logs (mathematical logs) you can multiply by adding.

log(a) + log (B) = a X b
__________________
Num Me Vexo?
A house is but a boat so poorly built and so firmly run aground no one would think to try and refloat it.
Adelie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 18:16   #13296
Moderator
 
Jim Cate's Avatar

Join Date: May 2008
Location: cruising SW Pacific
Boat: Jon Sayer 1-off 46 ft fract rig sloop strip plank in W Red Cedar
Posts: 17,139
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelie View Post
It's a math joke. Using logs (mathematical logs) you can multiply by adding.

log(a) + log (B) = a X b
And a damn funny one IMO!

Jim
__________________
Jim and Ann s/v Insatiable II, back in Port Cygnet after adventures in the big smoke.
Jim Cate is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 19:29   #13297
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Boat: Columbia 50
Posts: 444
Re: The New Joke Thread

I think you guys should start a gun joke thread, alongside a gun comparison joke thread....should have looooooots of subscribers.

In the meantime,
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	AA0F94B3-2AAF-487D-8F8F-E1F09F267269.jpg
Views:	194
Size:	250.5 KB
ID:	225514  
mlydon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 21:26   #13298
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,338
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Cate View Post
And a damn funny one IMO!

Jim
That's entirely subjective.

Exactly like the tank joke.
socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 21:32   #13299
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPB
Posts: 10,735
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Cate View Post
And a damn funny one IMO!

Jim

Especially the bit about the elephants with a gestation period of weeks
StuM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 22:37   #13300
Moderator
 
Jim Cate's Avatar

Join Date: May 2008
Location: cruising SW Pacific
Boat: Jon Sayer 1-off 46 ft fract rig sloop strip plank in W Red Cedar
Posts: 17,139
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
That's entirely subjective.

Exactly like the tank joke.
Sheesh, I don't think so, mate. Nothing whatsoever disgusting or offensive about some biblical snakes in the grass failing to multiply without some timber offcuts, especially when compared to pureed human flesh vomiting from a hole burned into armour plate when struck by some hellish weapon.

But perhaps I'm too finicky... I suppose that's possible.

Jim
__________________
Jim and Ann s/v Insatiable II, back in Port Cygnet after adventures in the big smoke.
Jim Cate is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 23:21   #13301
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New York, New York
Boat: Dufour Safari 27'
Posts: 1,584
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisr View Post
OMG...that is simply...i don't know...words fail me...
Of course words would fail anyone. Logs use letters and numbers!
ArmyDaveNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 23:24   #13302
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Crystal Palace,South London
Posts: 7
Re: The New Joke Thread

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.


"Well, it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago, Chile in 2009," I informed him.


"Really?" he asked.


"No," I replied.
Captain Rum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-10-2020, 23:56   #13303
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Mainly aboard currently New Zealand
Boat: Custom steel schooner 15m oa
Posts: 159
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelie View Post
It's a math joke. Using logs (mathematical logs) you can multiply by adding.

log(a) + log (B) = a X b

It thought it was funny but I think Adelie's equation should have read


log(a) + log(b) = log (a x b)


I could be wrong of course. It's been a long time since I did logs (well, at least 8 hrs since after breakfast).
sailorphil9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-10-2020, 00:04   #13304
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Mainly aboard currently New Zealand
Boat: Custom steel schooner 15m oa
Posts: 159
Re: The New Joke Thread

Click image for larger version

Name:	pope.png
Views:	226
Size:	191.5 KB
ID:	225521
sailorphil9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-10-2020, 01:32   #13305
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 39,128
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
boat

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:16.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.