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Old 23-05-2020, 15:20   #10516
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Re: The New Joke Thread

In college I experimented with marijuana. I did it in snow and I did it in sleet.

But I did not in hail.
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Old 23-05-2020, 15:21   #10517
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What do you call a religious chef?

A man of the broth.
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Old 23-05-2020, 15:21   #10518
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My neighbor complained my dog's barking is disturbing him.

I told him that I am also bothered by his bed squeaking when he's not at home.
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Old 23-05-2020, 15:44   #10519
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Name this fish...

What fish?

...

Oh, that fish!
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Old 23-05-2020, 16:19   #10520
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I know people like this!


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Old 23-05-2020, 16:23   #10521
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
You may be wondering about my accent.
Of course, technically, I dont have an accent.
I'm from England.
This is just how things sound when they're pronounced properly.

If he came from south east England, that's not a joke, it's absolutely correct!
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Old 23-05-2020, 16:26   #10522
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
Late edit:
"happens to lots of guys" (should be plural); misspelled "actually".

I'm going to blame this covid thingy for my fat fingers' erratic performance on the keyboard. Stuck in lockdown means can't get to the pub means can't exercise me hands/fingers by lifting/controling a pint o'beer as god intended us to do. You know that beer is a devine intervention, right?
.

If you're going to be picky about your own post, you should also mention the missing apostrophe in "maybe its your fault"
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Old 23-05-2020, 18:52   #10523
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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If you're going to be picky about your own post, you should also mention the missing apostrophe in "maybe its your fault"
No worries, 'cause I know that you're around for backup.
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Old 23-05-2020, 19:00   #10524
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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If he came from south east England, that's not a joke, it's absolutely correct!
Plot twist: He's from Liverpool.
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Old 23-05-2020, 19:24   #10525
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Plot twist: He's from Liverpool.

In which case, I don't believe the story. No one would know what he said
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Old 23-05-2020, 20:18   #10526
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 23-05-2020, 21:25   #10527
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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In which case, I don't believe the story. No one would know what he said
Now you're not suggesting that I'd be embellishing my stories somewhat, or perhaps posting with deliberate intent to deceive the faithful community of sailors here in The New Joke Thread, are you?

Maybe I did lie. But I promise I'll never lie again!
The first 50 times were all innocent mistakes!

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Old 23-05-2020, 21:50   #10528
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Nah. There's a lot of us here that have to wade through pages and pages of empty posts


Something to do with some kind of geographic restriction on the https links. Cutting and pasting the link to the address bar of the browser and changing the "https" to "http" in the address bar will display fine for us lower classes
You guys must be running low on karma points...
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Old 24-05-2020, 05:25   #10529
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Reefmagnet View Post
Nah. There's a lot of us here that have to wade through pages and pages of empty posts


Something to do with some kind of geographic restriction on the https links. Cutting and pasting the link to the address bar of the browser and changing the "https" to "http" in the address bar will display fine for us lower classes
the few empty posts that I saw---- I just didn't read them. Like when some one hangs up the phone on me ---- I stop talking to them. Most of the time.
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Old 24-05-2020, 05:37   #10530
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Re: The New Joke Thread

They want us to get vaccinated so they can inject us with microchips and track us anywhere.

- Sent from my iPhone -
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