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Old 03-08-2020, 18:37   #12016
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LessTacksing View Post
Me thinks a lesson from capt. Ron is needed.


Ahahah!!!
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Old 03-08-2020, 23:32   #12017
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Re: The New Joke Thread

When I post these, I'm posting the URL and removing the "s" and just posting "http". In this case, it wouldn't show up for me as http, so I went back to https. I figure if the poster couldn't see it then there was a good chance nobody else could see it.
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Old 04-08-2020, 00:30   #12018
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Essex Girls

For those of you not from the UK, Essex girls are typified in Uk humour by being blonde and rarely achieving the level of average intelligence. Not true of course...



1. What does an Essex girl use for protection when she has sex? A bus shelter.


2. How do you know when an Essex girl comes? She drops her bag of fries.


3. How does an Essex girl turn out the light after sex? She kicks the car door shut.


Essex man: Do you smoke after sex?
Essex girl: Don't know, I never looked.
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Old 04-08-2020, 00:40   #12019
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The difference between and Essex girl and a Rolls Royce? Not everyone's been in a Rolls Royce....
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Old 04-08-2020, 02:08   #12020
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Why does an Essex girl wear knickers?

To keep her ankles warm ...
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Old 04-08-2020, 12:24   #12021
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
This is so bad it belongs in the joke thread

https://m.facebook.com/groups/165878...24693484213743
OUCH! That was painful to watch. Are those Greek flags?
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Old 04-08-2020, 12:53   #12022
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Re: The New Joke Thread

sure looks like Greece to me.....they favor that stern to wharf mooring arrangement, with the anchor out....almost all European boats have that passaralle boat boarding walkway strapped to the stern....a lot of those wharves are open roadsteads, no marina per se, you just tie up to the town dock and hope for the best............the Greeks have got it down pat, but for a newbie charterer....you see what happens in the video.....
drunkest I ever got was in Greece...Ouzo....the vilest alcoholic concoction known to man....
...maybe some Ouzo involved here....
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Old 04-08-2020, 15:57   #12023
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Woman comes to fruit market and she is looking at some beautiful strawberries
She asks the shopkeeper, "Are these strawberries GMO?"

Shopkeeper, "Nooo."

Strawberries, "Oh yes we are!"
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Old 04-08-2020, 15:59   #12024
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My wife's cooking is pretty good, but it makes me sad when she uses so much spice.

I'm starting to think I have seasonal depression.
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Old 04-08-2020, 16:00   #12025
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year...

...so they're just being hippocritical...
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Old 04-08-2020, 16:00   #12026
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Re: The New Joke Thread

People are usually shocked that I have a police record.

But I love their Greatest Hits!

This joke stings a bit, doesn't it?
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Old 04-08-2020, 18:07   #12027
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Some shares from FB friends.
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Old 05-08-2020, 00:03   #12028
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
The difference between and Essex girl and a Rolls Royce? Not everyone's been in a Rolls Royce....

And the difference between an Essex girl and the I95 (or M1 in UK)?


Not everyone's been up the I95.




What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make herself attractive to men?


Her ankles.




They just keep coming!
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Old 05-08-2020, 06:23   #12029
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Re: The New Joke Thread

As I taped a piranha to my boomerang, I thought,

"This is going to come back to bite me."
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Old 05-08-2020, 07:23   #12030
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Did you know that in the Canary Islands, there are no canaries?

And in the Virgin Islands?

Yep, you guessed right, no canaries either.
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