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03-08-2020, 18:37
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#12016
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Stamford, CT
Boat: Beneteau Oceanis 31
Posts: 724
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by LessTacksing
Me thinks a lesson from capt. Ron is needed.
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Ahahah!!!
__________________
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
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03-08-2020, 23:32
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#12017
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
When I post these, I'm posting the URL and removing the "s" and just posting "http". In this case, it wouldn't show up for me as http, so I went back to https. I figure if the poster couldn't see it then there was a good chance nobody else could see it.
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04-08-2020, 00:30
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#12018
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Mainly aboard currently New Zealand
Boat: Custom steel schooner 15m oa
Posts: 163
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Essex Girls
For those of you not from the UK, Essex girls are typified in Uk humour by being blonde and rarely achieving the level of average intelligence. Not true of course...
1. What does an Essex girl use for protection when she has sex? A bus shelter.
2. How do you know when an Essex girl comes? She drops her bag of fries.
3. How does an Essex girl turn out the light after sex? She kicks the car door shut.
Essex man: Do you smoke after sex?
Essex girl: Don't know, I never looked.
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04-08-2020, 00:40
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#12019
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Boat: Still building
Posts: 1,557
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Re: The New Joke Thread
The difference between and Essex girl and a Rolls Royce? Not everyone's been in a Rolls Royce....
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04-08-2020, 02:08
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#12020
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: France/UK
Boat: Gib'Sea 402
Posts: 546
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Why does an Essex girl wear knickers?
To keep her ankles warm ...
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04-08-2020, 12:24
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#12021
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Narragansett Bay
Boat: Pearson 33-2
Posts: 36
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic
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OUCH! That was painful to watch. Are those Greek flags?
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04-08-2020, 12:53
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#12022
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Marine Service Provider
Join Date: Jan 2019
Boat: Beneteau 432, C&C Landfall 42, Roberts Offshore 38
Posts: 6,253
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Re: The New Joke Thread
sure looks like Greece to me.....they favor that stern to wharf mooring arrangement, with the anchor out....almost all European boats have that passaralle boat boarding walkway strapped to the stern....a lot of those wharves are open roadsteads, no marina per se, you just tie up to the town dock and hope for the best............the Greeks have got it down pat, but for a newbie charterer....you see what happens in the video.....
drunkest I ever got was in Greece...Ouzo....the vilest alcoholic concoction known to man....
...maybe some Ouzo involved here....
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04-08-2020, 15:57
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#12023
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,979
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Woman comes to fruit market and she is looking at some beautiful strawberries
She asks the shopkeeper, "Are these strawberries GMO?"
Shopkeeper, "Nooo."
Strawberries, "Oh yes we are!"
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04-08-2020, 15:59
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#12024
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,979
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Re: The New Joke Thread
My wife's cooking is pretty good, but it makes me sad when she uses so much spice.
I'm starting to think I have seasonal depression.
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04-08-2020, 16:00
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#12025
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,979
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year...
...so they're just being hippocritical...
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04-08-2020, 16:00
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#12026
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,979
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Re: The New Joke Thread
People are usually shocked that I have a police record.
But I love their Greatest Hits!
This joke stings a bit, doesn't it?
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04-08-2020, 18:07
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#12027
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 7,310
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Some shares from FB friends.
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05-08-2020, 00:03
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#12028
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Mainly aboard currently New Zealand
Boat: Custom steel schooner 15m oa
Posts: 163
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman
The difference between and Essex girl and a Rolls Royce? Not everyone's been in a Rolls Royce....
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And the difference between an Essex girl and the I95 (or M1 in UK)?
Not everyone's been up the I95.
What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make herself attractive to men?
Her ankles.
They just keep coming!
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05-08-2020, 06:23
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#12029
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,979
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Re: The New Joke Thread
As I taped a piranha to my boomerang, I thought,
"This is going to come back to bite me."
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05-08-2020, 07:23
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#12030
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Marine Service Provider
Join Date: Jan 2019
Boat: Beneteau 432, C&C Landfall 42, Roberts Offshore 38
Posts: 6,253
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Did you know that in the Canary Islands, there are no canaries?
And in the Virgin Islands?
Yep, you guessed right, no canaries either.
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