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Old 23-05-2020, 10:42   #10501
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 23-05-2020, 10:44   #10502
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 23-05-2020, 10:44   #10503
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Old 23-05-2020, 10:49   #10504
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Old 23-05-2020, 10:50   #10505
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What is that on her plate?

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Old 23-05-2020, 10:54   #10506
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Old 23-05-2020, 10:55   #10507
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Old 23-05-2020, 10:58   #10508
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Old 23-05-2020, 11:01   #10509
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Beautiful eyes...


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Old 23-05-2020, 11:03   #10510
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Old 23-05-2020, 11:05   #10511
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayana42 View Post
Socaldmax, If an orchestra had wifi...
Would that be a band with bandwidth?
Or hi-fidelity bandwidth.
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Old 23-05-2020, 11:07   #10512
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.THANK YOU!
Just have to wonder what she was doing with it, before she gave it to you?
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Old 23-05-2020, 12:14   #10513
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Just have to wonder what she was doing with it, before she gave it to you?



Hope you're talking about the phone
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Old 23-05-2020, 12:18   #10514
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Was having a beer with this guy down at the pub. He said:

You may be wondering about my accent.
Of course, technically, I dont have an accent.
I'm from England.
This is just how things sound when they're pronounced properly.
****

Did you know that you're eight times more likely to get mugged
in this town than in New York city?

That's because we're not living in New York city.
****

Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Do you know why that is?

It's because they don't fancy each other.
****

My girlfriend is always saying that I don't tell her
how much I love her.

Well, you know, I don't want to upset her.
****

A couple of weeks ago I had this little accident while having sex with my girlfriend.
Let's just say I arrived a bit early.

She said: Don't worry about it - that happens to lots of guy.

I said: Well there's two things wrong with that. Who are these lots of guys you've been having sex with? And if it's happening so often, don't you think that maybe its your fault?
****

Was walking down the street and this woman with a clipboard stopped me
and asked if I could spare a few minutes for cancer research.

I said well alright, but we're not going to get much done.
****

I asked her name and she said "Pataka".
I said that's an unusual name. You dont hear that everyday.

She said, well, acutally I do.
****

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Old 23-05-2020, 13:07   #10515
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Late edit:
"happens to lots of guys" (should be plural); misspelled "actually".

I'm going to blame this covid thingy for my fat fingers' erratic performance on the keyboard. Stuck in lockdown means can't get to the pub means can't exercise me hands/fingers by lifting/controling a pint o'beer as god intended us to do. You know that beer is a devine intervention, right?
.
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