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Old 24-05-2020, 14:29   #10546
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.
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Old 24-05-2020, 14:29   #10547
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What’s the best way to carve scrimshaw? Whittle by whittle.
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Old 24-05-2020, 14:30   #10548
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What do you call a canine magician? A labracadabrador.
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Old 24-05-2020, 14:32   #10549
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What’s the derivative of Amazon? Amazon Prime
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Old 24-05-2020, 14:33   #10550
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?Artificial Swedener.
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Old 24-05-2020, 14:42   #10551
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I like being on my boat and observing the natural world. The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
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Old 24-05-2020, 15:17   #10552
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
T L I don't think this was a good idea.

T rt. I know I'm not going to like this.

BL I sure hope husband doesn't come home now.

b RT. Well if some one sees me they won't know what I'm doing.
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Old 24-05-2020, 15:40   #10553
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanCan View Post
Nowhere it says “for over 20 years” )
“Once I was drunk and I f***** my sister in law”


Well if you really want to translate word by word, comadre is not sister in law is actually the god mother of one of his kids. Too complicated to be a joke
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Old 24-05-2020, 15:58   #10554
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by carlosproa View Post
Well if you really want to translate word by word, comadre is not sister in law is actually the god mother of one of his kids. Too complicated to be a joke


Well.... then don’t post in Spanish )
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Old 24-05-2020, 16:13   #10555
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueH2Obound View Post
Lots more blank posts . . . I'm beginning to think it's me!
That's OK, it's another one of those pointless text only images. The joke is:


If you are seriously thinking about drinking Lysol you are a fool.
Fabuloso comes in so many amazing flavors
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Old 24-05-2020, 16:15   #10556
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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- I always take my wife morning coffee in my pyjamas. But is she grateful? No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.
As long as you don't tell her you have her breakfast in your pyjamas!
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Old 24-05-2020, 20:47   #10557
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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As long as you don't tell her you have her breakfast in your pyjamas!
Well, since she's on a rather strict diet I did rather carefully check the "forbidden items" list - no problem.



(She still seems surprised when I pull a tangerine from a pocket. )
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Old 24-05-2020, 21:17   #10558
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 24-05-2020, 23:08   #10559
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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You need to be aware of the original "What's the difference between your mom and a mallard with a cold" to appreciate that one
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Old 24-05-2020, 23:43   #10560
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Which was..???
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