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Old 03-11-2018, 21:22   #3661
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 04-11-2018, 10:27   #3662
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.

One day, her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her romps. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet.

The little boy says, "It's dark in here."
The man whispers, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet together.

Boy - "It's dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - Remembering last time, asks, "How much?"
Boy - "$750."
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says "$1,000."

The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "It's dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that crap again!"
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Old 04-11-2018, 12:32   #3663
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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________
Woman delivers a baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”.

Doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just messing with you, it was born dead”.

________
Attachment 180116
This one goes too far. Not even close to funny.
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Old 04-11-2018, 13:58   #3664
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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New Amazon Echo Silver, for all you old folks...
Now THAT made the morning all the sweeter!
Love a good laugh over coffee. Thanks!
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Old 04-11-2018, 15:17   #3665
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Senior chuckles...?



An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
B.I.C.U. (Before Intensive Care Unit)..........

I thought that was funny.
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Old 04-11-2018, 15:23   #3666
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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This one goes too far. Not even close to funny.
Ya, that was my point.

Getting a bit too dark in here
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Old 04-11-2018, 15:27   #3667
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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This one goes too far. Not even close to funny.
The cartoon one is no worse than some Animé, but definitely insensitive to suicide issues.

However, I agee......that drop kick dead baby type of dark humor is best left within the genocidal tendencies of a sick comedian.
.....I can only imagine what someone who's baby died at birth would feel reading that ....Sick!
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Old 04-11-2018, 15:31   #3668
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Ya, that was my point.

Getting a bit too dark in here
So your solution is to turn off the last light?... Jeez!
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Old 04-11-2018, 16:05   #3669
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The whippings will stop when morale improves
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Old 04-11-2018, 16:06   #3670
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Ya, that was my point.

Getting a bit too dark in here
Again, another one of your posts that makes absolutely no sense. I call BS on your reasoning/ excuse and your line of sick humor should be banned.
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Old 04-11-2018, 16:28   #3671
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Re: The New Joke Thread

It would be best if we refrained from the darker side if you will.
Lighthearted and funny, that’s what the thread is supposed to be.
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Old 04-11-2018, 17:11   #3672
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Re: The New Joke Thread

There is relief in the "Ignore" selection.
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Old 04-11-2018, 18:10   #3673
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Lighthearted and funny, that’s what the thread is supposed to be.
Completely agree, thanks
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Old 04-11-2018, 18:21   #3674
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Completely agree, thanks
If that were true you wouldn't have posted such a disgusting "joke." I have lots more to say to you about it but as I'm sure the mods would frown upon my language, let's just say by the amount of pm's i've gotten from others your "opinions" are not appreciated by a lot of us.
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Old 04-11-2018, 18:45   #3675
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Then don’t read them!
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