The New Joke Thread

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

I'm going to fast forward that to our upcoming New Years Eve party.

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by ontherocks83

That took me a second.

I’m an imbecile, I still don’t get it.
Anybody care to lead me out of my ignorance?

[Alan Mighty]

Originally Posted by Adelie

I’m an imbecile, I still don’t get it.
Anybody care to lead me out of my ignorance?

I *think* we're supposed to read the sentence as the wife, given a choice between being given (a) nothing; or (b) a new car, would choose (a).

[john61ct]

Q: What is it she would like better than the new car?

A: Nothing

OK, I'll get her that!

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

This Christmas my wife said she’d like nothing more than a new car.



So I’m getting her what she wanted most.

[StuM]

....she'd like xxx more than a new car.


So I'm getting her xxx.


Substitute either "a diamond ring" or "nothing" for xxx.

[svmariane]

.
_____ Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah!____

May you and yours be safe, sheltered, without worries, and of good cheer.

[Adelie]

Thanks all.

[svmariane]

Every been on the road at night, tired, worried about falling asleep at the wheel? Here's a tip: Drive on the wrong side of the road. Let the horns from oncoming traffic help keep you awake! People love to help, you know.

[HopCar]

Real men wrap with duct tape.

[chrisr]

[Jon Hacking]

I resemble that!

[john61ct]

magicican, as in a practising wiccan?

[LakeSuperior]

Me: What makes you angry?

Pirate: When someone steals my p

[mlydon]

I’m couldn’t find the scotch tape, and actually DID wrap presents with packing tape this year. It was a hoot watching people try to get them open, I’ll tell you.....

Matt

[socaldmax]