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Old 24-12-2019, 22:28   #7906
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
I'm going to fast forward that to our upcoming New Years Eve party.
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Old 24-12-2019, 22:31   #7907
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ontherocks83 View Post
That took me a second.


I’m an imbecile, I still don’t get it.
Anybody care to lead me out of my ignorance?
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Old 24-12-2019, 22:52   #7908
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Adelie View Post
I’m an imbecile, I still don’t get it.
Anybody care to lead me out of my ignorance?
I *think* we're supposed to read the sentence as the wife, given a choice between being given (a) nothing; or (b) a new car, would choose (a).
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Old 25-12-2019, 00:12   #7909
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Q: What is it she would like better than the new car?

A: Nothing

OK, I'll get her that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
This Christmas my wife said she’d like nothing more than a new car.



So I’m getting her what she wanted most.
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Old 25-12-2019, 00:18   #7910
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Re: The New Joke Thread

....she'd like xxx more than a new car.


So I'm getting her xxx.


Substitute either "a diamond ring" or "nothing" for xxx.
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Old 25-12-2019, 00:48   #7911
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Re: The New Joke Thread

.
_____ Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah!____

May you and yours be safe, sheltered, without worries, and of good cheer.
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Old 25-12-2019, 07:01   #7912
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Thanks all.
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Old 25-12-2019, 13:47   #7913
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Every been on the road at night, tired, worried about falling asleep at the wheel? Here's a tip: Drive on the wrong side of the road. Let the horns from oncoming traffic help keep you awake! People love to help, you know.
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Old 25-12-2019, 19:33   #7914
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Real men wrap with duct tape.
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Old 26-12-2019, 01:37   #7915
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Old 26-12-2019, 03:13   #7916
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I resemble that!
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Old 26-12-2019, 05:14   #7917
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Re: The New Joke Thread

magicican, as in a practising wiccan?
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Old 26-12-2019, 07:34   #7918
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Me: What makes you angry?

Pirate: When someone steals my p
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Old 26-12-2019, 21:00   #7919
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I’m couldn’t find the scotch tape, and actually DID wrap presents with packing tape this year. It was a hoot watching people try to get them open, I’ll tell you.....

Matt
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Old 27-12-2019, 01:02   #7920
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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