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Old 01-11-2019, 01:37   #7156
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
Oh, c'mon! Now you're just phoning it in!

You KNOW the backstorey is that he's a lucky guy. Won the lotto for 12 something million and then within two weeks found the love of his life!

Geeeze. Go get a cup of coffee (or a beer) before you post!
No, since the wildfires, the standards have dropped drastically. All he needed was electricity to get her interested.
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Old 01-11-2019, 04:18   #7157
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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No, since the wildfires, the standards have dropped drastically. All he needed was electricity to get her interested.
And/or wifi.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:21   #7158
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Re: The New Joke Thread

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:24   #7159
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Re: The New Joke Thread

And an elegant rendering of an old favorite...


After the Flood, Noah commanded the animals..."Go forth! Be fruitful! Multiply!"

And so, the animals did go forth from Mt. Ararat, and behold they were fruitful and did multiply as Noah had commanded. But Noah saw that two snakes had remained with the ark.

"Serpents! Why has thou not done as I have commanded, and gone forth to multiply?"

"Behold, we are Adders and so cannot multiply," the snakes mournfully replied.

And so Noah bade his sons to hew great trees from the mountain, and from the raw trees to construct a mighty platform, 70 cubits long and 40 cubits wide and 20 cubits tall. And when the construction was finished Noah stood upon it and proclaimed to the snakes.

"Adders, behold! A table of logs, with which you may multiply by adding."
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:08   #7160
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Re: The New Joke Thread

For those of you wondering, it’s a math joke.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:24   #7161
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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No, since the wildfires, the standards have dropped drastically. All he needed was electricity to get her interested.


The thing that has confused me for years, is that they apparently won’t control burn during parts of the year when it is safe to do so.
I grew trees for an investment, we control burned late Winter / early spring very often, because if you didn’t then when you got a fire it was catastrophic, but if you control burned when you got an accidental fire there just wasn’t enough fuel to do much damage.
The whole SouthEast US burns every later Winter / early spring, the reason that season if chosen is its when the first growth pokes out and it’s the most vulnerable to fire.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:37   #7162
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Re: The New Joke Thread

You know that dreadful since when kids are finished taking their Calculus final, all worried about how awful it was?

I call it the After-math
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:00   #7163
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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For those of you wondering, it’s a math joke.
I don't do hard maths.
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:04   #7164
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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For those of you wondering, it’s a math joke.
Ooooh, nooooooo!
Spoiler alert!
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Old 01-11-2019, 10:11   #7165
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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The thing that has confused me for years, is that they apparently won’t control burn during parts of the year when it is safe to do so.
I grew trees for an investment, we control burned late Winter / early spring very often, because if you didn’t then when you got a fire it was catastrophic, but if you control burned when you got an accidental fire there just wasn’t enough fuel to do much damage.
The whole SouthEast US burns every later Winter / early spring, the reason that season if chosen is its when the first growth pokes out and it’s the most vulnerable to fire.
You're absolutely right!

But the leadership of CA doesn't do that. They also insist on "green corridors" which connect rural brush/forest areas with urban areas, bringing the fires right into every neighborhood.

Instead of making the electric companies trim the trees away from the power line corridors and using non conducting spacers to keep the high tension lines from swinging and hitting each other, like all of the other states, they chose to shut off power, so those with electric vehicles can't charge them and the water pumping stations can't provide water and any cell tower without enough battery power goes out of service.

About 15 yrs ago, a fire started at dusk in a remote field grew to a huge blaze overnight because their helicopter pilots were not trained or authorized to fly at night. If they could have hit it early, one load of fire retardent would have put the fire out. Instead, it was too large to contain by morning and ultimately burned over 273,000 acres, destroyed 2,820 structures, killed 14 people and cost over $1.33 B.

Since then, they have invested in a lot more helicopters, night flights, 4 engine air tankers and even jets, but the best solution is what you pointed out - forest management, controlled burns.


Guess who is in charge of all of this ineptitude? It's so bad, the only thing left to do is move.

Sorry for the rant, but it seems as if half of the state's on fire.
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Old 01-11-2019, 10:12   #7166
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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For those of you wondering, it’s a math joke.
Are you sure about the joke part?

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Old 01-11-2019, 10:30   #7167
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Re: The New Joke Thread

In Poland they have to be extra careful assigning seats on airplanes. If they get too many Poles in the right half plane a disaster will happen.

It’s an engineering joke...
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Old 01-11-2019, 10:31   #7168
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The New Joke Thread

Of course, or it wouldn’t have been posted in the Joke thread. I’ve never seen anything here that wasn’t a joke.
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Old 01-11-2019, 10:45   #7169
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Or perhaps "N" represents Neanderthal
Hahahah You GO GADAGIRL !
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:06   #7170
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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In Poland they have to be extra careful assigning seats on airplanes. If they get too many Poles in the right half plane a disaster will happen.

It’s an engineering joke...
Specifically a great electrical engineering joke. I will be sending it out. Thanks again!
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