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19-12-2020, 19:41
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#13876
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPBs
Posts: 12,891
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPA Cate
Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
A bounder has found her, and plied her with cider,
And now she's the forest's prime evil.
Or,
Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet
And an outsider has found her
And lay down beside her
And now she has blown him away.
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There was a young lady named Ann,
Who's limericks just wouldn't scan,
When she was asked why,
She said in reply,
I just can't seem to get the last line to fit properly.
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19-12-2020, 22:05
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#13877
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Brisbane Australia
Boat: Schionning Waterline 1480
Posts: 1,987
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Blah blah
__________________
Regards
Dave
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19-12-2020, 22:23
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#13878
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Minnesota
Boat: Vaitses/Herreshoff Meadow Lark 37'
Posts: 1,138
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM
There was a young lady named Ann,
Who's limericks just wouldn't scan,
When she was asked why,
She said in reply,
I just can't seem to get the last line to fit properly.
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Limerick is a beautiful city,
Of medieval charm, and quite pretty.
Isn't it a shame
That most of its fame
Should derive from verses half-witty.
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19-12-2020, 22:59
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#13879
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sydney Australia
Boat: Fisher pilothouse sloop 32'
Posts: 3,431
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Re: The New Joke Thread
__________________
Rob aka Uncle Bob Sydney Australia.
Life is 10% the cards you are dealt, 90% how you play em
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20-12-2020, 04:21
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#13880
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 49,630
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Re: The New Joke Thread
***
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
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20-12-2020, 06:16
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#13881
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Uk Rye
Boat: Moody 44’ ketch
Posts: 86
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme.
But this one doesn’t
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20-12-2020, 07:56
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#13882
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Sailing Lake Ontario
Boat: Mirage 35
Posts: 1,132
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Perfectly true:
__________________
Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here.
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20-12-2020, 08:33
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#13883
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: British Columbia
Boat: Sceptre 41
Posts: 1,955
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnglaisInHull
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Probably less true for the young...
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20-12-2020, 10:44
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#13884
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Fernandina Beach, FL
Boat: Key West 2020 CC
Posts: 466
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Re: The New Joke Thread
I may have already posted this one but it's a classic.
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
__________________
OutOfControl
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20-12-2020, 12:01
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#13885
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Mostly Texas
Boat: Lagoon 37 TPI
Posts: 541
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Re: The New Joke Thread
99,99,99,99
__________________
==========================
Now retired from the Oilfield,
Just Playing a Banjo in a Whorehouse.
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21-12-2020, 07:23
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#13886
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Stamford, CT
Boat: Beneteau Oceanis 31
Posts: 724
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Re: The New Joke Thread
water repellent
__________________
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
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21-12-2020, 07:24
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#13887
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Stamford, CT
Boat: Beneteau Oceanis 31
Posts: 724
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Avoiding collision
__________________
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
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21-12-2020, 07:30
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#13888
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 49,630
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamme
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Reminds me:
Q: How to locate the highest spot on the floor?
A: Look for the floor drain.
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
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21-12-2020, 08:48
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#13889
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Mostly Texas
Boat: Lagoon 37 TPI
Posts: 541
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Re: The New Joke Thread
ɿoɈɒυpɘ ɘʜɈ ʇo ɘbiƨ ɿɘʜɈo ɘʜɈ no m'I
__________________
==========================
Now retired from the Oilfield,
Just Playing a Banjo in a Whorehouse.
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21-12-2020, 14:39
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#13890
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sydney Australia
Boat: Fisher pilothouse sloop 32'
Posts: 3,431
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Re: The New Joke Thread
__________________
Rob aka Uncle Bob Sydney Australia.
Life is 10% the cards you are dealt, 90% how you play em
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