The New Joke Thread

[StuM]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
A bounder has found her, and plied her with cider,
And now she's the forest's prime evil.

Or,

Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet
And an outsider has found her
And lay down beside her
And now she has blown him away.

There was a young lady named Ann,
Who's limericks just wouldn't scan,
When she was asked why,
She said in reply,
I just can't seem to get the last line to fit properly.

[Dave_S]

Blah blah

[Jdege]

Originally Posted by StuM

There was a young lady named Ann,
Who's limericks just wouldn't scan,
When she was asked why,
She said in reply,
I just can't seem to get the last line to fit properly.

Limerick is a beautiful city,
Of medieval charm, and quite pretty.
Isn't it a shame
That most of its fame
Should derive from verses half-witty.

[Uncle Bob]

Of course the earth is flat!!

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1608447475

[GordMay]

***

[Malabarista]

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme.
But this one doesn’t

[Mirage35]

Perfectly true:

[sv_pelagia]

Originally Posted by AnglaisInHull

Perfectly true:
Attachment 228958

Probably less true for the young...

[OutOfControl]

I may have already posted this one but it's a classic.


An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

[Eigenvector]

99,99,99,99

[Jamme]

water repellent

[Jamme]

Avoiding collision

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by Jamme

water repellent
Attachment 229041

Reminds me:
Q: How to locate the highest spot on the floor?
A: Look for the floor drain.

[Eigenvector]

ɿoɈɒυpɘ ɘʜɈ ʇo ɘbiƨ ɿɘʜɈo ɘʜɈ no m'I

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1608590345