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Old 08-11-2020, 10:53   #13576
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post


*There are a million banana images*

I thought the PC answer to that would have been *Fake news!*
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Old 09-11-2020, 08:56   #13577
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The New NEW Joke Thread

So here goes again. Had to start a new thread:

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.

3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".

4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.

5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

6. An American T‑shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.

8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".

9. The Coca‑Cola name in China was first read as "Ke‑kou‑ke‑la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko‑kou‑ko‑le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".

10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball‑point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".
Cheers!
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Old 09-11-2020, 09:23   #13578
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Re: The New NEW Joke Thread

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. "My friend is dead! What should I do?"

The operator replies, "Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he's dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang.

Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
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Old 09-11-2020, 10:31   #13579
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Re: The New NEW Joke Thread

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Old 09-11-2020, 11:21   #13580
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Re: The New NEW Joke Thread

People think that I'm stupid, because I ask them for money, in exchange of politically incorrect opinions.
Well, I beg to differ.


People keep telling me, I don't value other opinions enough.
Little do they know.
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Old 09-11-2020, 17:48   #13581
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Re: The New NEW Joke Thread

* A solider, leaving an Army Base, was overheard telling a friend,
"This has gotta be love at first sight. It's only an 8 hour pass."
- - - - -

* The Sergeant was explaining some important points to a squad of
recruits on the rifle range. "This type of bullet will penetrate
2' of solid wood," he said, "so remember to keep your heads down."
- - - - -

* An applicant for a job listed his last occupation as "US Army." He
gave his title as "Sergeant" and duties as "Operation Desert Storm."
Under "reason for leaving" he printed, "Won the war."
- - - - -

* As the regiment moved out, the crowd cheered. One soldier asked
another, "Who are all those cheering people ?"
The veteran answered, "They're the ones who aren't going."
- - - - -

* The instructor wanted to impress upon the soldiers how horrific any
combat could become using nuclear weapons. He told the class, "The
next war will be over in a matter of hours." One recruit whispered
to a buddy, "Good. We'll get the rest of the day off then."
- - - - -

* A personnel clerk at Fort Meade received a document, initialed it and
passed it on to the Duty Officer. It promptly came back with a note
attached: "This document didn't concern you. Erase your initials and
initial the erasure."
- - - - -

* In spite of regulations, the enlisted man fell in love with an Army
Nurse with the rank of Captain. One morning, following a lover's
quarrel, they passed each other without a sign of recognition.
A Lieutenant witnessed the scene and stopped the non-com. "That
woman is an officer, and you didn't salute her."
"Salute??" the solider replied. "We're not even speaking!"
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Old 09-11-2020, 19:24   #13582
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Re: The New NEW Joke Thread

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Old 11-11-2020, 04:26   #13583
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 11-11-2020, 04:41   #13584
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I totally believe that there is a man we can not see, watching us from the sky, passing judgment on our actions, and that there are people who live and die according to a plan of his.But enough about the NSA.
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Old 11-11-2020, 04:48   #13585
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Re: The New NEW Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueH2Obound View Post
So here goes again. Had to start a new thread:

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.

3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".

4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.

5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

6. An American T‑shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.

8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".

9. The Coca‑Cola name in China was first read as "Ke‑kou‑ke‑la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko‑kou‑ko‑le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".

10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball‑point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".
Cheers!
The hair shampoo called BRECK

In Danish BRECK means to throw up

They actually do sell the shampoo in Denmark
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Old 11-11-2020, 05:27   #13586
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 11-11-2020, 05:34   #13587
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Today is very special. It marks 5 years we have been in 2020.
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Old 11-11-2020, 07:16   #13588
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Re: The New NEW Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by carstenb View Post
The hair shampoo called BRECK

In Danish BRECK means to throw up

They actually do sell the shampoo in Denmark
Another classic. Chevrolet introduced the Nova to Mexico only to learn that No va is Spanish for won't go.
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Old 11-11-2020, 07:19   #13589
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Similarly, the Toyota (I think) MR2 got a few jokes in Quebec - sounds way too much like "merde".
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Old 11-11-2020, 07:29   #13590
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Re: The New Joke Thread

There was a soft drink on the market in the UK, but only briefly. It was called Pschitt!
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