The New Joke Thread

[19thol]

A guy gets his penis cut off in a car accident, he desperately want a new one. Long story short, he gets a baby elephants trunk. It is a success!! He gets the courage to go on a date, all is fine, but then this thing comes out from under the table and takes his baked potato. His date is puzzled, he is compelled to tell her the story of his new penis. She says that is cool, and could he do that potato thing again? He says he probably could, but he's not sure his ******* could take another baked potato.

[19thol]

a hole

[socaldmax]

I thought you were gonna say his ex-wife.

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by Wotname

I see what you have done here

[delmarrey]

Hummmmm!
It must be an AA meeting.......



.

[GordMay]

A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form and writes: 'Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof.'

The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: 'There are only nine words here. You could send another "Woof" for the same price.'

The dog looks confused and replies, 'But that would make no sense at all.'

[GordMay]

[Eigenvector]

don't be a grinch




https://youtu.be/xoxhDk-hwuo

[Buzzman]

Knowing your grammar, or knowing you're a gra'ma...??

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Attention all hands!

Somebody appears to have kidnapped Gordo and beaten out of him his CF password! Using that stolen identity (and poor Gordo... hope he recovers from this traumatic experience) the identity thief who stole the identity of our respected "go-to" guy for technical data is now engaging in {gasp} humor!

Be warned! This might not be the Gordo we've know for o'these many years.

Just saying...




Edit: I'll be setting up a go-fund-me page soon so we can hire a detective and research analyst to get to the bottom of this mystery. And maybe rescue Gordo. Or whatever. We'll work out the details later, ok? Okay.

[delmarrey]

All these years I've been arguing with my wife on which way the toilet paper goes on the roll. And now I have proof. But now she says that changed when Nixon was president.

[delmarrey]

Anyone have any idea what x & d might be?

.

[delmarrey]

I got gas today for $1.49.



Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

[nibj]

Originally Posted by delmarrey

Anyone have any idea what x & d might be?

.

Good joke: according to Wolfram Alpha the integral evaluates to

-2.981266944005536440321037784113443027091901887218 87186739...

There must be a pin in there somewhere

[CatNewBee]

Originally Posted by nibj

Good joke: according to Wolfram Alpha the integral evaluates to

-2.981266944005536440321037784113443027091901887218 87186739...

There must be a pin in there somewhere

Not really, it is a division by zero for x=1. ;-)