A writer, needing isolation to finish a book rents a remote
cottage. A week after he moves in there's a knock at the door. When he opens it there's a guy standing there.
He says " Hi. I'm your nearest neighbour. I live twenty miles north of here. Since you're new to the area I thought I'd throw a party in your honour, next Saturday. Are you interested?"
The writer thinking that one night off won't hurt says he is.
"Good", says the visitor, "but I should warn you that since there aren't many dos around here, the drinking tends to be very heavy when there is one."
"I like a drink," replies the writer.
"Great. Ermm, also, errm, when the drink flows, humm, there tends to be some, err, a lot of wild sex going on. Is that ok?"
"Hey, I'm all for sex!" Says the writer.
"Good, good. But there tends to be a bit of violence, too. Nothing vicious, you understand, just a good old-fashioned punch-up. Can you cope with that?"
" I can look after myself!"
"Good, that's settled then. See you Saturday at eight."
As the guy walks away, the writer calls out as an afterthought; "What should I wear?"
" Oh, nothing special. It'll just be the two of us...."