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Old 17-12-2018, 15:11   #3976
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A guy gets his penis cut off in a car accident, he desperately want a new one. Long story short, he gets a baby elephants trunk. It is a success!! He gets the courage to go on a date, all is fine, but then this thing comes out from under the table and takes his baked potato. His date is puzzled, he is compelled to tell her the story of his new penis. She says that is cool, and could he do that potato thing again? He says he probably could, but he's not sure his ******* could take another baked potato.
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Old 17-12-2018, 15:12   #3977
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Re: The New Joke Thread

a hole
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Old 17-12-2018, 16:30   #3978
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I thought you were gonna say his ex-wife.
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Old 17-12-2018, 18:26   #3979
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wotname View Post
I see what you have done here
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Old 18-12-2018, 08:33   #3980
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Hummmmm!
It must be an AA meeting.......



.
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Old 18-12-2018, 09:17   #3981
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form and writes: 'Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof.'

The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: 'There are only nine words here. You could send another "Woof" for the same price.'

The dog looks confused and replies, 'But that would make no sense at all.'
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Old 18-12-2018, 09:31   #3982
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 18-12-2018, 12:48   #3983
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Re: The New Joke Thread

don't be a grinch




https://youtu.be/xoxhDk-hwuo
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Old 18-12-2018, 17:22   #3984
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Knowing your grammar, or knowing you're a gra'ma...??
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Old 18-12-2018, 17:39   #3985
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post


Attention all hands!

Somebody appears to have kidnapped Gordo and beaten out of him his CF password! Using that stolen identity (and poor Gordo... hope he recovers from this traumatic experience) the identity thief who stole the identity of our respected "go-to" guy for technical data is now engaging in {gasp} humor!

Be warned! This might not be the Gordo we've know for o'these many years.

Just saying...




Edit: I'll be setting up a go-fund-me page soon so we can hire a detective and research analyst to get to the bottom of this mystery. And maybe rescue Gordo. Or whatever. We'll work out the details later, ok? Okay.
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Old 19-12-2018, 05:15   #3986
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Re: The New Joke Thread

All these years I've been arguing with my wife on which way the toilet paper goes on the roll. And now I have proof. But now she says that changed when Nixon was president.
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Old 19-12-2018, 05:23   #3987
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Anyone have any idea what x & d might be?

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Old 19-12-2018, 05:27   #3988
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I got gas today for $1.49.



Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
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Old 19-12-2018, 06:16   #3989
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
Anyone have any idea what x & d might be?

.
Good joke: according to Wolfram Alpha the integral evaluates to

-2.981266944005536440321037784113443027091901887218 87186739...

There must be a pin in there somewhere
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Old 19-12-2018, 06:28   #3990
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by nibj View Post
Good joke: according to Wolfram Alpha the integral evaluates to

-2.981266944005536440321037784113443027091901887218 87186739...

There must be a pin in there somewhere
Not really, it is a division by zero for x=1. ;-)
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