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Old 19-12-2018, 08:13   #3991
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
Anyone have any idea what x & d might be?

.



It's a simple integration function. x and d are not values.



dx just tells us that the integration interval is infinitesimal.


The answer is the sum of all solutions where x lies between 0 and 1.


I got the same answer as nibj, or at least an approximation of -2.981266944005536, at https://www.integral-calculator.com/


(I love the internet, it sure beats doing it by hand )
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Old 19-12-2018, 08:33   #3992
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM View Post
It's a simple integration function. x and d are not values.



dx just tells us that the integration interval is infinitesimal.


The answer is the sum of all solutions where x lies between 0 and 1.


I got the same answer as nibj, or at least an approximation of -2.981266944005536, at https://www.integral-calculator.com/


(I love the internet, it sure beats doing it by hand )
There you guys go, taking a great joke and ruining it by making it rational/scientific Please consider us simpleton's before getting all smart and correct
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Old 19-12-2018, 08:45   #3993
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Re: The New Joke Thread

For the Star Trek fans out there.

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Old 19-12-2018, 09:32   #3994
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by CatNewBee View Post
Not really, it is a division by zero for x=1. ;-)
It's calculus not algebra:
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Old 19-12-2018, 09:49   #3995
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Re: The New Joke Thread

There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box ...
containing the socks I got him for Christmas.


Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
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Old 19-12-2018, 10:37   #3996
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by ontherocks83 View Post
There you guys go, taking a great joke and ruining it by making it rational/scientific Please consider us simpleton's before getting all smart and correct

Ah, but therein lies the true joke: ask a CF'er what time it is and they'll teach you how to build a watch. No joke. Oops, wrong thread??????
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Old 19-12-2018, 13:14   #3997
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Nah, just the person who left that note was a calculating son or daughter of a gun.

A,
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Old 19-12-2018, 16:59   #3998
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ontherocks83 View Post
There you guys go, taking a great joke and ruining it by making it rational/scientific Please consider us simpleton's before getting all smart and correct

It's a great joke to those who grok calculus.


It doesn't make sense to non-mathematicians without an explanation and is therefore not as funny. (Hence the question about x and d).
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Old 19-12-2018, 18:11   #3999
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Re: The New Joke Thread

So, like an engineering joke, then...???


I heart engineers BTW
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Old 19-12-2018, 18:18   #4000
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Re: The New Joke Thread

After the infamous "Dismissal" of Gough Whitlam's government by Gov-Gen John Kerr in 1975, in collusion with Opposition Leader Malcolm Fraser (who then became Prime Minister), some wag had a shipment of toilet rolls printed with Fraser's name on them, so people could wipe their arse with him.

Apparently they were very popular, but, alas, mostly got used, so an 'original' "Fraser roll" is now highly collectible in Australia.

Go figure....
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Old 20-12-2018, 04:07   #4001
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I wanted to worked on a farm last year but I turned down the job because I would be paid in vegetables.

The celery was unacceptable.
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Old 20-12-2018, 08:17   #4002
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
After the infamous "Dismissal" of Gough Whitlam's government by Gov-Gen John Kerr in 1975, in collusion with Opposition Leader Malcolm Fraser (who then became Prime Minister), some wag had a shipment of toilet rolls printed with Fraser's name on them, so people could wipe their arse with him.

Apparently they were very popular, but, alas, mostly got used, so an 'original' "Fraser roll" is now highly collectible in Australia.

Go figure....
I remember as a seven year old school boy, visiting a Scottish castle and using their toilet paper.
Every piece had "Property of her Majesty's Government" stamped on it.

Apart from being curious about what else they collect? ...The roll was like wax paper and l thought, that queen most have a tough old arse.
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Old 20-12-2018, 08:27   #4003
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Am I perfect?
No.
But, am I striving to be a better person every day?
Also no.
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Old 20-12-2018, 09:54   #4004
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My wife and I are following a Ketogenic, low carb diet plan, but this morning I cheated and had a donut for breakfast.

Oddly enough, when I came clean during dinner this evening, she seemed only upset about the pastry and not at all that I had slept with another woman.
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Old 20-12-2018, 09:56   #4005
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner... unannounced at 7:30 after work.

His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.

Wife: My hair and makeup arenít done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I am still in my pyjamas and and I canít be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?

Husband: Because he is thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo!
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