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Old 12-06-2018, 18:05   #3001
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I remember seeing a huge graffiti tag on the end wall of a row of terraced houses in Newtown, back in the late seventies or early eighties....
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Old 12-06-2018, 19:24   #3002
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Re: The New Joke Thread

....and, during the Nixon Administration in the US, "Nuke the Gay Whales."
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Old 13-06-2018, 09:06   #3003
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Re: The New Joke Thread

There are just too many captions to go with this one...........
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Old 13-06-2018, 13:23   #3004
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelie View Post
DECimal is a base 10 numbering system, you count to 9 then add a digit "1" in the 10s place and the 1s place rolls back to "0"

OCTal is a base 8 numbering system: you count to 7 then add a digit "1" in the 10s place and the 1s place rolls back to "0"

OCT-DEC
01 01
02 02
03 03
04 04
05 05
06 06
07 07
10 08
11 09
12 10
13 11
14 12
15 13
16 14
17 15
20 16
21 17
22 18
23 19
24 20
25 21
26 22
27 23
30 24
31 25

Binary (Base 2[0,1]) and Hexadecimal (base 16 [1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,A,B,C,D,E,F]) are numbering systems commonly used in computing.

I tried to laugh but my head hurt too much!
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Old 15-06-2018, 11:22   #3005
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I just remembered an excellent joke someone told me once. Where does a mansplainer get his water?
.
.
.
From a well... actually.

(Insert drummer's rim shot here.)
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Old 15-06-2018, 12:05   #3006
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The statue

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Old 18-06-2018, 14:27   #3007
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Re: The New Joke Thread

THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN STORY

An elderly Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,
Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
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Old 18-06-2018, 16:21   #3008
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelie View Post
DECimal is a base 10 numbering system, you count to 9 then add a digit "1" in the 10s place and the 1s place rolls back to "0"

OCTal is a base 8 numbering system: you count to 7 then add a digit "1" in the 10s place and the 1s place rolls back to "0"

OCT-DEC
01 01
02 02
03 03
04 04
05 05
06 06
07 07
10 08
11 09
12 10
13 11
14 12
15 13
16 14
17 15
20 16
21 17
22 18
23 19
24 20
25 21
26 22
27 23
30 24
31 25

Binary (Base 2[0,1]) and Hexadecimal (base 16 [1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,A,B,C,D,E,F]) are numbering systems commonly used in computing.
Wow, I just fell into a time warp for a moment! Reminds me of assembly language programming on many diferent CPUs.

...but, not that funny.
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Old 18-06-2018, 16:29   #3009
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by D&D View Post
THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN STORY

An elderly Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,
Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Pretty clever boy that Vinnie!
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Old 18-06-2018, 19:24   #3010
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Just goes to show you, sometimes the government IS here to help you! ;-)


[the FBI used to be called G-for-government Men.]
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Old 18-06-2018, 20:46   #3011
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by captmikem View Post
Ok Jim, nerd wise what is this?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Cate View Post
Hmmm... I think that must be an "or" house! Should have a red light on it somewhere.

Jim
WELL, come on, Mike! Was I right or was my nerdism inadequate?

Jim
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