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Old 31-07-2020, 01:05   #11971
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I remember somehow understanding that 'Mr Humphreys' was not quite on the same page as 'Mr Lucas' in the Seventies sit-com 'Are you Being Served'.....

Never bothered me. John Inman was hilarious as the high-camp Mr Humphreys.

His falsetto "I'm free..!!" was currency in our home for several years.
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Old 31-07-2020, 04:41   #11972
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Just a casual observation as it seems that the joke thread isn't used much for jokes lately. 71 percent or 45 of the last 61 posts were non-jokes.

It has turned into a dumping ground for endless personal quips, personal memories of youth, and personal reminiscings that would not even be interesting to your spouse, friends, or relatives unless they were half in the bag.

Imposing this uninteresting personal tripe on an audience of anonymous readers who couldn't possibly care is amazingly boorish and self centered.

Give it a rest already and post a joke if you got one.
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Old 31-07-2020, 05:09   #11973
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
Just a casual observation as it seems that the joke thread isn't used much for jokes lately. 71 percent or 45 of the last 61 posts were non-jokes.

It has turned into a dumping ground for endless personal quips, personal memories of youth, and personal reminiscings that would not even be interesting to your spouse, friends, or relatives unless they were half in the bag.

Imposing this uninteresting personal tripe on an audience of anonymous readers who couldn't possibly care is amazingly boorish and self centered.

Give it a rest already and post a joke if you got one.
hear hear !

i'll get us back on track...



Before the surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...

It was an ether/oar situation.


cheres,
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Old 31-07-2020, 07:41   #11974
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Lewis Carroll:
Quote:
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
Aldous Huxley:
Quote:
There is a 'b' in both and an 'n' in neither.
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Old 31-07-2020, 08:29   #11975
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 31-07-2020, 14:45   #11976
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 31-07-2020, 15:10   #11977
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Re: The New Joke Thread

That sitcom is hilarious! Love it :-)

Do you remember "Allo Allo" as well ?
I'm German but still burst out in laughing each time. So funny!

Both are on YouTube. Here are two episodes:

https://youtu.be/J2Xu6T5gIns
&
https://youtu.be/XvJGDHAQSmA


Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
I remember somehow understanding that 'Mr Humphreys' was not quite on the same page as 'Mr Lucas' in the Seventies sit-com 'Are you Being Served'.....

Never bothered me. John Inman was hilarious as the high-camp Mr Humphreys.

His falsetto "I'm free..!!" was currency in our home for several years.
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Old 31-07-2020, 16:06   #11978
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
ust a casual observation as it seems that the joke thread isn't used much for jokes lately. 71 percent or 45 of the last 61 posts were non-jokes.
Absolutely... and now with your contribution it is 46 out of 62...

And if you don't like what is posted, I promise to stop forcing you to read it... awfully sorry 'bout that.

Jim
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Old 31-07-2020, 16:38   #11979
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Re: The New Joke Thread

You all should be aware the moderators allow a lot of leeway in the jokes thread, rarely invoking the "would you want to explain it to your best friend's 8 yr old?" rule.

However, if someone wants to start a thread "Discussion of the Jokes Thread", he or she should feel free. It won't be as long running as the Jokes thread, but it might actually be pretty funny.


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Old 31-07-2020, 17:33   #11980
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Or we could rename this the Behavioural Activation thread.

Itís been going that way since Covid-19.
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Old 31-07-2020, 18:47   #11981
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs:

The bikings!
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Old 31-07-2020, 18:48   #11982
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Life Pro Tip: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the kitchen floor, quietly kick it under the refrigerator.

Soon itíll be water under the fridge.
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Old 31-07-2020, 18:50   #11983
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Re: The New Joke Thread

An oldie but...worth repeating again, IMHO.


A man has been ill for some time. Fearing that his end is near, he calls his wife to his bedside.

"I have a last wish," he says to her. "Promise me that 2 months after I die, you'll marry our neighbor, Ken."

The wife is perplexed. "But, my dear, I thought you hated Ken," she asks him.
"I do," says the man.
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Old 31-07-2020, 18:53   #11984
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Little Henry was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling. She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."

The first student raised her hand to volunteer. "Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first." Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"

Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.

Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an anesthesiologist . A-N-E no wait, A-N-A no..."
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.

Little Henry raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Henry to go next.

Henry said, "My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 50:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "anesthesiologists."
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Old 31-07-2020, 21:04   #11985
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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