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Old 31-07-2020, 21:54   #11986
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My super power is to break anything mechanical I attempt to repair:

I call myself: Super Klutz

My alter ego is: Able Klutzman

I currently have two cars, two motor bikes, three outboard motors and two boats I am too afraid to go near in case I break them further.

Oddly, I demolished a pergola last week, and it went perfectly, without a hitch.
Go figure.
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Old 31-07-2020, 22:43   #11987
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The New Joke Thread

Thankfully... we still have lake superior! And Socaldmax!!
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Old 01-08-2020, 04:10   #11988
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A Skipper is walking through town looking for crew, when he sees a five-story building with a sign that reads, “Crew Association: Yacht Crew Available” Since he is without crew, he decides to go in. The Security Guard, a very salty type, explains to him how it works. “We have five floors. Go up floor by floor and once you find what you are looking for, for crew, you can go there and make a selection. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you who’s inside.”

Everything seems straightforward enough, so the skipper starts going up and on the first floor the sign reads, “All the crew on this floor are beginners.” The skipper laughs, and without hesitation moves on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads, “All the crew here are experienced, smart but weak.”

Still, this isn’t good enough, so the Skipper continues on up. He reaches the third floor and the sign reads, “All the crew here are experienced, smart and strong.” He still wants to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, he keeps going. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect, “All the crew here are experienced, smart, strong and former America’s Cup Champions.” The Skipper get excited and is about to go in when he realizes that there is still one floor left.

Wondering what he is missing, he heads up to the fifth floor. There he finds a sign that reads, “There are no crew here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a Skipper!”

cheers,
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Old 01-08-2020, 05:23   #11989
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Re: The New Joke Thread

This is so bad it belongs in the joke thread

https://m.facebook.com/groups/165878...24693484213743
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Old 01-08-2020, 08:42   #11990
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Re: The New Joke Thread

HOLY SHNIKES!!
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Old 01-08-2020, 09:57   #11991
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Re: The New Joke Thread

wow....do you think alcohol was involved....or just plain charterer stupidity...or both....
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Old 01-08-2020, 11:19   #11992
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Me thinks a lesson from capt. Ron is needed.
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Old 01-08-2020, 11:43   #11993
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The New Joke Thread

Back to jokes

Q. What boarders on insanity?

A. Canada and Mexico.
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Old 01-08-2020, 12:10   #11994
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 01-08-2020, 17:57   #11995
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A case of Corona.
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Old 01-08-2020, 21:59   #11996
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Re: The New Joke Thread

with due hommage to lake superior...

“I used to have a fear of boats, but that ship has sailed!”

“Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship!”

“In ancient times, seagoing vessels were much more fuel efficient. They got thousands of miles to the galleon.”

“A ship’s captain is a sails manager!”

“The admiral’s motto was, ‘Do it schooner rather than later!’ "

cheers,
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Old 02-08-2020, 14:20   #11997
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The New Joke Thread

This hits a little too close to home, but..Click image for larger version

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Old 03-08-2020, 00:41   #11998
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 03-08-2020, 01:13   #11999
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Old 03-08-2020, 07:34   #12000
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Owl be sure to keep an eye out for it.
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