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Old 29-07-2020, 16:14   #11956
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
My Grandkids in the future: Hey Grandpa, what started the Sino-American War of 2020?

Me: Well it's complicated.

My Grandkids: Was it because the US blamed China for the Corona Virus?

Me: No. It wasn't because of that.

My Grandkids: Was is because the US accused China of state sponsored theft of American technology and intellectual property?

Me: No. It wasn't because of that either.

My Grandkids: Was it because of escalating tensions after the US and China started closing each others Consulates and Embassies?

Me: No. That's not it either.

My Grandkids: Well then what started the war?

Me: Well you see kids, we started getting these packets of seeds in the mail...
i know this is the joke thread, but gota remind you all : if there is a serious china / usofa war, there won't be any future or grandkids to talk to...

now, back to the jokes !

cheers,
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Old 29-07-2020, 16:23   #11957
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by chrisr View Post
i know this is the joke thread, but gota remind you all : if there is a serious china / usofa war, there won't be any future or grandkids to talk to...
The above statement is indeed a joke.
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Old 29-07-2020, 17:12   #11958
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by carstenb View Post
I know this is a joke thread - but I'm so old that when I went to school "gay" was defined as a person who was happy, sociable and enjoyed life (and parities). as in: She was a gay divorcee or she was a gay debutante. Rarely used to describe a man though.

When used to describe a man, it was something like: He was a gay socialite, cutting a swathe through the upper crust of society, had and dropped girlfriends by the score.

Just goes to show may age.
I'm reminded of a bawdy song from my youth, one whose first line went something like:

Oh, I am a gay caballero, and I come from the Rio de Janeiro...

The rest of the song demonstrates that he was definitely not "gay" in the modern sense!

Hadn't thought of that song in years!

Jim
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Old 29-07-2020, 18:05   #11959
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 29-07-2020, 18:15   #11960
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Re: The New Joke Thread

2020 hula
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Old 29-07-2020, 19:01   #11961
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Oh, that warning is so going onto my Facebook page to be shared with my Friends; you would be amazed how many of them actually fall for crazy stuff like that. Hardly a day doesn't go by that I don't have to post a comment providing the details that reveal that a post of their is bogus / faux / conspiracy theory news.
This will be my chance to stir their gullibility.
The scary part is that, they are actually registered to vote, and have drivers licenses, God help us.
Do us all a favor and post that the election has been moved to Nov. 10th so they all miss it. Your grateful country thanks you!
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Old 29-07-2020, 21:17   #11962
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Cate View Post
I'm reminded of a bawdy song from my youth, one whose first line went something like:

Oh, I am a gay caballero, and I come from the Rio de Janeiro...

The rest of the song demonstrates that he was definitely not "gay" in the modern sense!

Hadn't thought of that song in years!

Jim

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Old 30-07-2020, 00:36   #11963
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by StuM View Post
Ummm, Stu, that is definitely NOT the version that I recall! The second stanza went something like: "my lombombardee hangs down to my knee and also one lombombadero". The poor caballero gets involved with a diseased lady and eventually has those previously mentioned bits of anatomy, now in pretty sad condition, removed surgically, prior to a somewhat chastened return to the Rio de Janeiro.

Poor bugger...

Jim
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Old 30-07-2020, 01:07   #11964
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by carstenb View Post
I know this is a joke thread - but I'm so old that when I went to school "gay" was defined as a person who was happy, sociable and enjoyed life (and parities). as in: She was a gay divorcee or she was a gay debutante. Rarely used to describe a man though.

When used to describe a man, it was something like: He was a gay socialite, cutting a swathe through the upper crust of society, had and dropped girlfriends by the score.

Just goes to show may age.

When I was a a young teenager, my parents would often take us for a drive to a local harbour on the weekend. We were just starting out in boats (my Dad was building a dinghy). I fell in love with a motor launch that was up on the hard for several months. I can still see her now, with a black hull. 'Gay Venture' she was called.



I hope that brings a smile to your faces, if not a laugh.
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Old 30-07-2020, 01:19   #11965
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 30-07-2020, 01:33   #11966
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Back in the day it wasn't easy being gay...
'Gay Dragoon appeared as 1087 in 'The Ship That Died of Shame', ' see IMDB if you are curious.... a movie you may enjoy

The rest weren't so sensitive...

MaritimeQuest - HMS Gay Archer P-1041 Page 1
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Old 30-07-2020, 01:50   #11967
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by chrisr View Post
WARNING
...went to the supermarket for some milk and cereal and came home with beer and chocolate...
Happens to me ALL the time!!!
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Old 30-07-2020, 03:17   #11968
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Cate View Post
Ummm, Stu, that is definitely NOT the version that I recall! The second stanza went something like: "my lombombardee hangs down to my knee and also one lombombadero". The poor caballero gets involved with a diseased lady and eventually has those previously mentioned bits of anatomy, now in pretty sad condition, removed surgically, prior to a somewhat chastened return to the Rio de Janeiro.

Poor bugger...

Jim

OK, what I know as the Hash House Harrier version then


A GAY CABALLERO

I am a gay caballero
I come from Rio de Janiero
I carry with me my weetrembeli
And both of my latrabaleros.

I met a gay young senorita
Who gave me a dose of clapita
Right on the end of my weetrembeli
And both of my latrabaleros

I went to a wise surgeano
He said, "I prescribe purgeano,"
He cut off the end of my weetrembeli
And both of my latrabaleros

And now I'm a sad caballero
Returning to Rio de Janiero
But not as you see with my weetrembeli
And both of my latrabaleros

At night as I lie on my pillow
Seeking to finger my willow
All I find there is a handful of hair
And one dried up latrabalero.
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Old 30-07-2020, 09:41   #11969
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Naptime, definitely the best product ever invented!

https://youtu.be/AF_nfazQaek
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Old 31-07-2020, 00:31   #11970
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by El Pinguino View Post
Back in the day it wasn't easy being gay...
'Gay Dragoon appeared as 1087 in 'The Ship That Died of Shame', ' see IMDB if you are curious.... a movie you may enjoy

The rest weren't so sensitive...

MaritimeQuest - HMS Gay Archer P-1041 Page 1

Good pics, but they seem to very keen on the stern view...
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