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Old 22-10-2019, 11:31   #6961
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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svmariane & scoldamax, you brightened our haulout (4.day, just startedraining CAD)
Always a bit of a fright when somebody publicly links the two of us, me and socaldmax, because, you know, the mods. But then I reread your post and realized you were talking about somebody else.
Whew! Threat averted!


Seriously (even though this is a joke thread) glad you enjoyed our efforts. Thanks!
Cruisers helping other cruisers as best as can, and all that.
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Old 22-10-2019, 14:15   #6962
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Re: The New Joke Thread

So I open up a yogurt and underneath the lid it said "Please try again".
They were having a contest I was unaware of.

But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong.

OR... maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me.
C'mon, sv, don't give up. Please try again.
A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait.

Fruit on the bottom, hope on the top.

I got some tartar control toothpaste.
I still got tartar, but that **** is under control.

Escalators dont break, they become stairs.

Someone asked me if I wanted a frozen banana now and I said no
but I do want a regular banana later so yes.

We cant find Sasquatch because they ride unicorns.

I used to do drugs.
I still do, but I used to do too.

That should help you understand my meandering thought-stream.



Disclaimer: This is the joke thread. Police, custom's agents, and the American TSA should disregard my posts. Really. I'm just joking. What do you mean "No Fly List"? C'mon... Lighten up! Help! Help! I'm being............................................. ......
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Old 22-10-2019, 14:22   #6963
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Always a bit of a fright when somebody publicly links the two of us, me and socaldmax, because, you know, the mods. But then I reread your post and realized you were talking about somebody else.
Whew! Threat averted!


Seriously (even though this is a joke thread) glad you enjoyed our efforts. Thanks!
Cruisers helping other cruisers as best as can, and all that.
I'll keep them distracted while you and scoldamax post the funny stuff!
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Old 22-10-2019, 15:01   #6964
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I'll keep them distracted while you and scoldamax post the funny stuff!


(Hey... Meet me just off Baker Island tomorrow. About noonish. I'll bring the beer and fire up the BBQ. Steaks and Mahi Mahi okay? You bring a couple of those Tahitian girls. And potato salad. My Thai girls jumped ship, so that's right out. Or maybe my wife got involved because the sailing dinghy has gone missing. Dunno yet. Bit of a puzzle. I'll ask my wife soon as I find her. Anyway: Lat 0.0, Long 180.0 And BTW.... grab some of those onion flavored crisps if you get the chance. )
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Old 22-10-2019, 15:25   #6965
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 22-10-2019, 15:38   #6966
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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My Thai girls jumped ship
Story of my life 8-)
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Old 22-10-2019, 17:52   #6967
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Re: The New Joke Thread

#Meanwhile Found Floating round In Cyberspace


The Doral Retreat (aka The Free Tweet)

Well now I can't have my fun at the Doral
Because everyone said that is not moral
So now my retreat's
This lousy re-tweet
About how it would have been a "free for all".
.
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Old 22-10-2019, 22:10   #6968
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Old 22-10-2019, 22:13   #6969
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Old 22-10-2019, 23:14   #6970
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Old 22-10-2019, 23:16   #6971
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Old 22-10-2019, 23:18   #6972
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Re: The New Joke Thread

"Lucky, we're with AAMI!!"



This will only have relevance for Oz TV viewers....
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Old 23-10-2019, 05:28   #6973
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I remember a friend watching a dog licking his balls
He joked, "wish I could do that!"

I replied.....maybe if you ask him nicely, he'll let you.
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Old 23-10-2019, 12:19   #6974
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Old 23-10-2019, 12:21   #6975
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