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svmariane · 23-10-2019, 14:19

Anybody following current political events? ( ... Excuse me. Let me control my laughter.)

Okay. Current events.

For those who might have missed it, President Trump on behalf of the USA accepted the honor of hosting next year's G7 conference. (Economic conference, not to be confused with the G7 Method of printing procedure used for visually accurate color reproduction.) Anyway, there was an immediate kerfluffle as word got out that the venue would be the President's own Doral Resort in Florida.

CNN cried Foul!

Fox News exclaimed Briliant!

US President's news briefing extract (extract, so don't be misled by the title):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DWcm8ovUz8

Today, we should remember the time President Obama asked for Dijon mustard on his burger, the worst scandal in presidential history.

Fox News cried Elitist! Out of touch with real people!

CNN claimed that the guy only asked for spicey mustard, "like Dijon or something".

CNN and Fox News clips included:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-WnoZbjdh4

The country came to a near-standstill as the cable news talking heads held The Great Mustard Debate. The dust had barely settled on that situation before The Great Tan Suit Debate, or the newest worst scandle in Presidential history, unfolded and captured the nations attention. (Google it. Tan-Gate.)

Includes CNN and Fox News clips.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrTf6CaTTc0

But I digress.

The 2020 G7 meeting will definitely be held somewhere in the USA. Possibly at American Samoa which has fine meeting houses that, with open wall construction, are perfect for televised events. Plus they have a golf course!

Sauces (ahem - sources) at the White House familure with planning for international events, speaking anonymously, have indicated that since it's a G7 event the seven main types of salad dressing (Ref note 1) will be served. That is:

Ranch Dressing
Caesar Dressing
Bleu Cheese Dressing
Balsamic Vinaigrettes
Salsa
Olive Oil
Thousand Island Dressing

(Certain restrictions apply. Void where prohibitd by law.
Thai sauce not included and no, I don't know why.)

Other insiders insist that since President Trump has already indicated his intent to invite Russia to the event that the meeting will actually become the G8, and in honor of THAT, Russian Dressing wil be included on the salad menu.

But again I digress.

The point is that NO ONE EVER DARED TO MIX ALL SEVEN DRESSINGS on their salad!

Wait. That's not true - there was this travelling Canadian lumberjack named Johnny Canuck from up Yukon way who drifted into Bangor, Maine... I think it was 97' or maybe 98...

All the other guests stood there and stared in awe as this bear of a man walked up, small earthquakes with every step, and put salad on his plate. Then he squinted at the seven sauces. Unsure, it seems. And - while people gasped in anxiety - he put the first THEN the second sauce on the plate. Three! Clouds gathered and the temperature dropped. At the fourth sauce multiple lightning bolts flashed and hit the ground around the restaurant. But he simply didn't stop! Five! Then SIX sauces went on the plate.

And at last he put the spoon in the seventh pot of sauce and lifted it.

The explosion was Earth shattering. And no one ever saw this Canadian Giant again. We never learned how the combination of seven sauces tasted and no one since has dared to try again...

And that's the way it is. Just so you know.

Note 1: Claiming seven main types of salad dressing is sort of like somebody claiming to have "sailed the seven seas" when in reality there are over a thousand named seas around the world. (Obligatory sailing reference in deference to the sailing commuity of Cruisers Forum.)

Note 2: The women around President Trump in this image taken at Doral golf course (possibly - opinions differ) are not official representatives of the G7. (That we know of.)

Note 3: Tradition Samoa meeting houses normally require that you provide your own electricity (via portable generators). Caution: Villages close at 6PM.
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