The New Joke Thread

[Buzzman]

LOL - you guys - you overcomplicate things!

We follow the Four Effs - Find 'em, Fondle 'em, F**k 'em, and Forget 'em.

Third base equates to Eff 'em, whereas, in your nomenclature, 'home plate' would be post coitus

[Kiwiscanswim]

You may be familiar with a boot-topping, a cat-harping and a dolphin-striker, but do you know what a spar-lash is? Answer: it's the noise the anchor makes as it hits the water!

[GordMay]

[LakeSuperior]

Soo... we’re going to the Autopsy club tonight.

Huh? What’s happening there?

It’s open Mike night!

[LakeSuperior]

An amateur poet attempted to write a novel.

Unfortunately, he failed because novels are for pros.

[LakeSuperior]

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

The bar tender looks at the pirate perplexed “ Why is there a paper towel on your head?”

The pirate looks at him “ Yarg! There be a bounty on me head!”

[StuM]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

An amateur poet attempted to write a novel.

Unfortunately, he failed because novels are for pros.

I must be unusually thick this morning. I assume it's a pun, but don't get it. Can somebody explain?

[Dsanduril]

Originally Posted by StuM

I must be unusually thick this morning. I assume it's a pun, but don't get it. Can somebody explain?

Pros = prose

[Buzzman]

Is 'bounty' a brand of paper towel somewhere in the world?

[ohgary]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Is 'bounty' a brand of paper towel somewhere in the world?

Popular brand in the US.

[Buzzman]

Aha! Here in Oz, the most common 'bounty' is the chocolate bar

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

The pirate looks at him “ Yarg! There be a bounty on me head!”

Kind of like this.... HMS Bounty:

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Dsanduril

Pros = prose

Doh!

[HopCar]

Pirate walked into an Australian bar with candy on his head...

[Sonas]

And the barman said "you must be coconuts."