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Old 09-06-2019, 19:50   #5626
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Re: The New Joke Thread

LOL - you guys - you overcomplicate things!

We follow the Four Effs - Find 'em, Fondle 'em, F**k 'em, and Forget 'em.

Third base equates to Eff 'em, whereas, in your nomenclature, 'home plate' would be post coitus
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Old 09-06-2019, 19:52   #5627
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Re: The New Joke Thread

You may be familiar with a boot-topping, a cat-harping and a dolphin-striker, but do you know what a spar-lash is? Answer: it's the noise the anchor makes as it hits the water!
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Old 10-06-2019, 06:25   #5628
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 10-06-2019, 08:21   #5629
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Soo... we’re going to the Autopsy club tonight.

Huh? What’s happening there?

It’s open Mike night!
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Old 10-06-2019, 08:22   #5630
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Re: The New Joke Thread

An amateur poet attempted to write a novel.

Unfortunately, he failed because novels are for pros.
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Old 10-06-2019, 08:23   #5631
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

The bar tender looks at the pirate perplexed “ Why is there a paper towel on your head?”

The pirate looks at him “ Yarg! There be a bounty on me head!”
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Old 10-06-2019, 14:35   #5632
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
An amateur poet attempted to write a novel.

Unfortunately, he failed because novels are for pros.

I must be unusually thick this morning. I assume it's a pun, but don't get it. Can somebody explain?
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Old 10-06-2019, 14:42   #5633
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I must be unusually thick this morning. I assume it's a pun, but don't get it. Can somebody explain?
Pros = prose
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Old 10-06-2019, 16:45   #5634
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Is 'bounty' a brand of paper towel somewhere in the world?
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Old 10-06-2019, 16:56   #5635
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Is 'bounty' a brand of paper towel somewhere in the world?
Popular brand in the US.
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Old 10-06-2019, 17:15   #5636
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Aha! Here in Oz, the most common 'bounty' is the chocolate bar

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Old 10-06-2019, 17:25   #5637
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
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The pirate looks at him “ Yarg! There be a bounty on me head!”
Kind of like this.... HMS Bounty:
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Old 10-06-2019, 19:30   #5638
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Pros = prose

Doh!
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Old 10-06-2019, 21:15   #5639
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Pirate walked into an Australian bar with candy on his head...
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Old 11-06-2019, 04:48   #5640
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Re: The New Joke Thread

And the barman said "you must be coconuts."
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