The New Joke Thread

[senormechanico]

Don't get this thread closed, PLEASE ...

[delmarrey]

I know we are all guilty of an occasional slip once in awhile, like banging the dock. BUT the general rule here has been no religious or political jokes.

Out right slander or insults are not funny, no matter who they are about! It just shows ones HATE spilling out.

If you can't help yourself, take it to Facebook or twitter where it's rampant.

This is a boating forum!

[JPA Cate]

Many posts have been deleted heremany which were in response to a deleted post.

The moderators are aware that dark humor has its place in the world, but people have been going a bit too dark, and a bit too political. There will be no notifications to the posters who've had posts deleted. You know who you are.

The mods will be grateful if you all can proceed onto some gentle and whimsical humor for a while.

Ann

[john61ct]

https://covers.angusrobertson.com.au...70078769-1.jpg

[danielamartindm]

Bella awoke to find her husband Luigi sitting up in bed and softly sobbing.She touched his shoulder and asked

"Luigi, what's wrong?"

He took a deep breath.

"You remember after we met, when your father found us in the back-a seat of my car?"

"Yes, I do," she replied.

"And remember him a holdin' a shotgun to my face and telling me that if I didn't marry his daughter he'd see me go to jail for twenty years?"

"Yes, I remember that too. Why are you so upset about this now?"

"I'd a gotten out today!"

[socaldmax]

A nine-year-old girl has disappeared after trying a moisturising cream that makes you ten years younger.

Suffolk Police are now searching for Lilly Fisher, who was last seen in her bedroom on Friday.

Worried mum Lorraine Fisher, 34, was surprised the cream worked.

“You normally take these things with a pinch of salt, but for once the moisturising cream did what it said on the tin.”

Police said Lilly had been given the cream on her birthday and was keen to try it out.




Missing: Lilly Fisher

[GILow]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

What's the most common tree in California?


Ash.

Too soon.

[NoTies]

Originally Posted by transmitterdan

It is often the case that one must show ID at the grocery store to use a credit card or write a check. Also, using a $100 bill may result in a request to see a picture ID so they can record who gave that bill in case it comes up bogus. Finding new ways to belittle Trump is a new cottage industry.

That says more about your society than it does about whoever is currently ballsing up your country as president. Even the freedom in Vanuatu is starting to be curtailed with the need to show photo ID to board a plane commencing next February. Thanks TSA

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by GILow

Too soon.

Yes, I felt that way, too. I am originally from California. In terms of enduring health care costs and increases in electric rates (which will be necessary to upgrade and replace old transmission lines), it will just go on and on.

Ann

[JPA Cate]

Hello again, everyone.

For those of you who don't know, the moderators are all volunteers, spread all over the world. If this thread cannot stay away from contemporary politics, it will be closed, and lost to all.

Some of us enjoy the joke thread, and would like it to continue, but if it takes up too much mod time, which is limited, it will go away.

Anyone who wants to talk politics can do it elsewhere than in a sailing and cruising forum.

Ann

[NoTies]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Hello again, everyone.

For those of you who don't know, the moderators are all volunteers, spread all over the world. If this thread cannot stay away from contemporary politics, it will be closed, and lost to all.

Some of us enjoy the joke thread, and would like it to continue, but if it takes up too much mod time, which is limited, it will go away.

Anyone who wants to talk politics can do it elsewhere than in a sailing and cruising forum.

Ann

Better speak to Jim then #3774

[john61ct]

Whataboutism does not help let's all try to refrain, at least in this (should just be) silly thread

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by NoTies

Better speak to Jim then #3774

She occasionally speaks to me, but mate, I was trying (unsuccessfully) to push us away from Trump . Didn't want to close the thread, still don't want to, but the force is looming...

Jim

[Buzzman]

Well that's beeter than The Farce.....

Or what passes for politics most places these days....

Sometimes ya just gotta laugh at 'em.

[GordMay]

And, now for the newspaper headlines .... and the letters in response.

Headline: 20,000 Pound Pavement to Help Homeless
Response: “Are you people idiots? What the homeless need are homes, not ten tons of additional pavement!”

Headline: Maryland Agrees to 
Tobacco Settlement
Response: “Well, that’s all we 
need—an entire settlement of people devoted to their cancer sticks. What’s next, a drunk-driving commune?”