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Old 09-12-2018, 09:07   #3931
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Re: The New Joke Thread

How about a Sunday morning golf joke. BTW, does anybody have any idea what percentage of cruisers carry their sticks with them?...............


Verne was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized
that his wife, Joy, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front
of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly
in the temple, killing her instantly.

A few days later, Verne got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.

Coroner: "Verne, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force-trauma
to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple,
is that correct?"

Verne: "Yes, sir, that's correct."

Coroner: "Well, inexplicably I found a golf ball wedged in her ass."

Verne: "Was it a Titleist 3?"

Coroner: "Yes, it was."

Verne: "That was my mulligan."
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Old 09-12-2018, 09:24   #3932
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Awesome thread
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Old 09-12-2018, 11:38   #3933
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I never understood why my wife always started conversations off with:

"You didn't hear a damn thing I said!"
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Old 09-12-2018, 21:29   #3934
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
Sunday bonus joke...


y=mx+b jokes are nice and all.


But at some point, you're got to draw a line.



IMHO, these are so bad they're almost funny.



m = you're heading down a slippery slope there Lake Superior..........
(@ Buzzman = engineering joke)
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Old 09-12-2018, 21:40   #3935
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Sigh. Ok. You've outed me. What's the joke.....I didn't get it....
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Old 09-12-2018, 21:45   #3936
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
Sigh. Ok. You've outed me. What's the joke.....I didn't get it....

The equation for a straight line is Y=MX+B where B= is the Y axis intercept and in my nerd reply, M is the slope of the line.


Sorry to out you.
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Old 09-12-2018, 21:58   #3937
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eigenvector View Post
m = you're heading down a slippery slope there Lake Superior..........
(@ Buzzman = engineering joke)


Only if hes negatively inclined.
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Old 09-12-2018, 22:04   #3938
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I'm inclined to accept that explanation....but, level with me - straight up, now - and don't be line to me: does it ever end?
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Old 09-12-2018, 22:17   #3939
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
I'm inclined to accept that explanation....but, level with me - straight up, now - and don't be line to me: does it ever end?

You can't have it both ways


Level is: Y=B or Straight up is M=∞, X


Let's move on to something more axymtotic............
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Old 09-12-2018, 22:20   #3940
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Re: The New Joke Thread

OK, but does the line ever end..??
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Old 09-12-2018, 22:28   #3941
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Yes if you continue to observe or measure it.

Soon as your attention wanders, maybe maybe not, depends on your POV.

Note a quantum mechanic can get his car in the garage without opening the door.
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Old 09-12-2018, 22:44   #3942
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Ah! But would he find a cat in there if he did?
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Old 09-12-2018, 22:44   #3943
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
OK, but does the line ever end..??

Nope. As long as you don't run out of numbers.
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Old 10-12-2018, 12:01   #3944
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Let's hope this one is easier to understand...

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Old 10-12-2018, 17:22   #3945
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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