The New Joke Thread

[GILow]

Originally Posted by fxykty

Grammar ‘jokes’, interesting stories, anecdotes possibly about well known people, links to YT - STOP IT PLEASE!!!!

I love The New Joke Thread. I don’t love the not-a-joke posts. Please go post those elsewhere.

Child: Dad, I’m bored.
Dad: Hi Bored.

One man’s meat and all that sort of thing. I, for one, love the grammar jokes most of all.

Ignore the jokes you don’t like, just as I ignore the political tripe, and enjoy the ones that push your buttons.

It is, after all, a free service.

[Buzzman]

You get all this for free...????
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[Now where the f**k did I put that CF contract......]

[HopCar]

GILow, you don’t pay for this? I think there’s been an error. Everybody else pays, right guys?

[Buzzman]

Owww. My nose hurts....

[GILow]

All-right, pedants, when I was rich, wealthy and otherwise socially secure (i.e. employed) I DID pay for it. But now I am a free-loading student so I am getting it free.

On balance... I'd rather be employed and pay for it. This student stuff is not as much fun as I remember.

[svmariane]

Had a relationship with a blind woman once.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

<insert rim shot here>


(Bet you didn't see that one coming!)




(Neither did she.)

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by fxykty

Grammar ‘jokes’, interesting stories, anecdotes possibly about well known people, links to YT - STOP IT PLEASE!!!!

I love The New Joke Thread. I don’t love the not-a-joke posts. Please go post those elsewhere.

Child: Dad, I’m bored.
Dad: Hi Bored.

Hmmm...

By my standards, "Child: Dad, I’m bored.
Dad: Hi Bored." does not qualify as a joke, and is less amusing than the anecdotes that you are slanging.

Really, the thread will sort itself out without a joke sheriff busting folks... has done for years, so just ignore the ones that you don't like.

Jim

[ben2go]

Stick it in her ear so she can hear you coming.
Stick it in her eye so she can she you coming.
Stick in her nose so she can smell you coming.
Etc,etc,etc...

[Tayana42]

[ATTACH]200411

[StuM]

Yesterday the missus said "Can you pick up a load of bread on the way home? And if they have eggs, get a dozen"
.
.
So I bought 12 loaves.

[StuM]

Q: What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?

.

.

A: Beer

[Epicurean]

Fxykty
You didn't pay for those jokes so they're good for nothing.

What do you get if you cross a penis and a potato?
A dicktater

[LakeSuperior]

A man screams at his tv: “You idiot don’t walk into that church!!”

His wife comes Into the room and asks him what his watching.

The man responds: “Our wedding tape”

[LakeSuperior]

Next time your wife is angry, drape a towel over her shoulders....

... and say, now you're super angry.

Maybe she laughs.

Maybe you die.

[LakeSuperior]

One of my favorite childhood memories is when my dad used to roll us down the hill inside of a tire.

Those were the Goodyears.