The New Joke Thread

[HopCar]

Originally Posted by transmitterdan

Acme is from Greek which roughly translates as "prime" so maybe Bezos is a Wile E. Coyote fan. .

More evidence supporting my theory! Thank you!

[Eigenvector]

Meanwhile in Texas

[Eigenvector]

from the way back machine....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1rIVTAM40M

[Eigenvector]

and a couple more

[socaldmax]

Maybe that's where Bezos came up with that very generous return policy. Nothing ever seemed to work right for Wile E. Coyote!

[GordMay]

Salesman: “Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.”

[svmariane]

Oh, c'mon! Everybody KNOWS that the Coyote / Road Runner thing started out many, many years ago! Here they are nowadays...

[Eigenvector]

Guy walks into the quickie mart and buys a coke.



Clerk asks: You have gas?


Guy: Wasn't me!

[GordMay]

"There are no dumb questions" is truly the perfect trap for dumb people to reveal themselves.

If bars aren't allowed to serve drunk people, then why is McDonald's still allowed to serve fat people?

Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?

Just where is the Internet? My grandson keep going there.

Can you give me a map that tells where I can find islands that haven’t been discovered yet?

[Copacabana]

This one is timely...

[Copacabana]

On the Canada theme:

[GordMay]

Concerned about what will happen to cities if the polar ice caps melt?

Don't be. New names have already been chosen:
ie:
Atlantis City, New Jersey
Pariscope, France
Sail 'Em, Massachusetts
Floodelphia, Pennsylvania
Helsunki, Finland

[GordMay]

The Devil tells a salesman sailboat racer, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any salesman sailor alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest salesman sailor that ever lived."

"Well," says the salesman sailor, "what do I have to do in return?"

The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."

"Wait a minute," the salesman sailor says cautiously, "What's the catch?"

[Eigenvector]

A day early........but what the heck.

[LakeSuperior]

Why does bourbon come in fifths?

Because you need it when you're too tense.








(This is really a joke, no kidding!}