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Old 12-01-2019, 08:06   #4186
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Robin: "Batman, this is Robin"

Robin: "I'm calling on the batphone, from the batcave. The batmobile won't start!"

Batman: "Have you checked the battery?"

Robin: "what's a tery?"
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Old 12-01-2019, 09:33   #4187
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 12-01-2019, 12:33   #4188
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Bwhahahahahaha!


Glad it wasn't me!
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Old 12-01-2019, 12:35   #4189
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
If I ever go missing, do not put my picture on milk cartons.
Put it on Captain Morgan bottles.
That way my friends can find me!
I don't know how effective that will be. This guy's been on there for decades and they haven't found him yet!

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Old 12-01-2019, 15:10   #4190
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Re: The New Joke Thread

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as -retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
56 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
19 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group
23 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.
11 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ".
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
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Old 12-01-2019, 15:25   #4191
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by IslandHopper View Post
How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as -retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
56 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
19 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group
23 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.
11 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ".
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
Forgot the 15 posts from old angry white men that don't want you to change your light bulbs in their anchorage and that you should hire a professional as the poors don't know how to dispose of old bulbs
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Old 12-01-2019, 15:32   #4192
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by dwedeking2 View Post
Forgot the 15 posts from old angry white men that don't want you to change your light bulbs in their anchorage and that you should hire a professional as the poors don't know how to dispose of old bulbs
And the (x) number of members who want to post that they remember a slightly different version from a thread posted way-back-when but can't exactly recall the details nor does the search feature help in locating the original post but BY GUM it was out there and yada yada yada...
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Old 12-01-2019, 15:43   #4193
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Old 12-01-2019, 15:44   #4194
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by dwedeking2 View Post
Forgot the 15 posts from old angry white men that don't want you to change your light bulbs in their anchorage and that you should hire a professional as the poors don't know how to dispose of old bulbs
Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
And the (x) number of members who want to post that they remember a slightly different version from a thread posted way-back-when but can't exactly recall the details nor does the search feature help in locating the original post but BY GUM it was out there and yada yada yada...
Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
Add them to the list if appropriate
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Old 12-01-2019, 16:04   #4195
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Re: The New Joke Thread

If the light bulb isn't replaced by an Authorized Dealer / Servicer, the warranty will be null and void.
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Old 12-01-2019, 16:19   #4196
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by senormechanico View Post
If the light bulb isn't replaced by an Authorized Dealer / Servicer, the warranty will be null and void.
*Note: Local law(s) may provide addition consumer rights. Some restrictions may apply. Offer void where prohibited.
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Old 12-01-2019, 16:35   #4197
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Re: The New Joke Thread

You missed the 4 old pharts who post that back when things were made of wood and only cost a penny light bulbs didn't need changing..... they then move onto discussing the merits of assorted lamp oils......
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Old 12-01-2019, 16:37   #4198
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Fer cryin' out loud... if he would just change to a LED he wouldn't have to change the damn bulb and we could avoid all this thread drift!

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Old 12-01-2019, 17:27   #4199
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Don't forget the San Fransisco sailors, for whom the light bulb has to WANT to change....


Or at least, they did in the Sixties....
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Old 12-01-2019, 18:02   #4200
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Re: The New Joke Thread

There will be at least one poster who says that if you had a megayacht you could buy light bulbs in bulk and save $5..
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