The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[IslandHopper]

Nope, nothing there again

[JPA Cate]

Ditto.

[chrisr]

and another ditto...

cheers,

[chris mac]

My phone sees it, my tablet doesnt

[Montanan]

Socaldmax, images coming through just fine.

[Uturn]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

ok, almost spit coffee from that one

[StuM]

When she asked me if those pants made her butt look big....
.
.
.
.
.
.
I never should have asked "Why are you blaming the pants?"

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1601427876

[Tom_F]

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.

[Tupaia]

Originally Posted by Jdege

GMT and UTC are far from confusing.

In GMT we have a fixed number of seconds, every year, and the length of each second varies from year to year.

In UTC each second is of a fixed length, and the number of seconds in a year varies from one year to the next.

I don't know how it could be more simple...

GMT relies on a bloke in Greenwich.
UTC relies on the average of atomic clocks in about 60 countries. This data is assimilated in Paris, France and the result published some 6 weeks later so everybody knows what time it was.

[GordMay]