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Old 04-10-2020, 17:13   #12961
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
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Old 04-10-2020, 17:15   #12962
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
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Old 04-10-2020, 17:18   #12963
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
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Old 04-10-2020, 17:21   #12964
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Re-Morse code.
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Old 04-10-2020, 17:22   #12965
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What’s Forest Gump’s password?
1Forest1.
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Old 04-10-2020, 17:24   #12966
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.
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Old 04-10-2020, 17:24   #12967
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.
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Old 04-10-2020, 18:07   #12968
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Re: The New Joke Thread

"Take the prisoner downstairs," said Tom, condescendingly.
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Old 04-10-2020, 18:59   #12969
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisr View Post
Attachment 224660

answers to be no more than 1 A4 page typed in double spaced capitals and submitted by next friday...

cheers,
I was actually asked this question as part of my 9+hour interview schedule at Microsoft. It was supposed to be a small part of that particular 1-hour interview. I eventually got it right, but only after leaving a LOT of blood on the white-board...
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Old 04-10-2020, 19:25   #12970
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisr View Post
Attachment 224660



answers to be no more than 1 A4 page typed in double spaced capitals and submitted by next friday...

cheers,





Vwater ∙ ρwater + Vair ∙ ρair > Vwater ∙ ρwater


(I hope the prize is a good one!)
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Old 04-10-2020, 19:35   #12971
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
If everyone was having the same problem, then I would concede the problem is at my end. I've asked repeatedly for suggestions on what to do. Nothing constructive yet.

However, it seems that most people can see them with no problems. That tells me two things:

1. You are not the center of the universe.

2. The problem is most likely at your end.

Let's look at this realistically. If I stop posting altogether, that's going to be a good portion of the jokes suddenly missing.

Let's take a vote: How many people want me to stop posting jokes?


Here's my proposal: How about YOU spend some time posting jokes, instead of whinging?

How many people want StuM to start posting funny jokes?

I vote for funny jokes!
Stu's not alone i can't see them either, it wasn't a problem for a while but whatever the problem was before is back again.....

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Old 04-10-2020, 19:40   #12972
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by IslandHopper View Post
Stu's not alone i can't see them either, it wasn't a problem for a while but whatever the problem was before is back again.....


Ditto: Mabee we are in the wrong part of the world, or perhaps we are in fact in the prime location!
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Old 04-10-2020, 20:07   #12973
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Stu's not alone i can't see them either, it wasn't a problem for a while but whatever the problem was before is back again.....




Same, missing them.
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Old 04-10-2020, 21:20   #12974
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Re: The New Joke Thread

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1601871599
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Old 04-10-2020, 21:21   #12975
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