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Old 28-09-2020, 11:34   #12811
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 28-09-2020, 11:36   #12812
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Old 28-09-2020, 11:39   #12813
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 28-09-2020, 11:39   #12814
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Old 28-09-2020, 12:19   #12815
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Nope, nothing there again
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Old 28-09-2020, 13:40   #12816
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Ditto.
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Old 28-09-2020, 16:55   #12817
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Re: The New Joke Thread

and another ditto...

cheers,
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Old 28-09-2020, 17:01   #12818
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My phone sees it, my tablet doesnt
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Old 28-09-2020, 17:32   #12819
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Socaldmax, images coming through just fine.
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Old 29-09-2020, 11:02   #12820
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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ok, almost spit coffee from that one
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Old 29-09-2020, 17:53   #12821
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Re: The New Joke Thread

When she asked me if those pants made her butt look big....
.
.
.
.
.
.
I never should have asked "Why are you blaming the pants?"
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Old 29-09-2020, 18:05   #12822
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 29-09-2020, 19:13   #12823
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.
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Old 30-09-2020, 04:33   #12824
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdege View Post
GMT and UTC are far from confusing.

In GMT we have a fixed number of seconds, every year, and the length of each second varies from year to year.

In UTC each second is of a fixed length, and the number of seconds in a year varies from one year to the next.

I don't know how it could be more simple...

GMT relies on a bloke in Greenwich.
UTC relies on the average of atomic clocks in about 60 countries. This data is assimilated in Paris, France and the result published some 6 weeks later so everybody knows what time it was.
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Old 30-09-2020, 05:19   #12825
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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