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Old 19-10-2018, 05:01   #3571
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What does a photon and a pirate have in common?


They both travel at c.
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Old 19-10-2018, 05:02   #3572
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Re: The New Joke Thread

OK, one more...


Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room talking about many things. The idea of a living will came up and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If I ever come to that just pull the plug."


She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.
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Old 19-10-2018, 09:34   #3573
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
OK, one more...


Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room talking about many things. The idea of a living will came up and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If I ever come to that just pull the plug."


She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.


Wait. You're telling me the TV was on, but you were talking to your wife about many things, including a living will?

Nope, I'm not buying it.
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Old 19-10-2018, 09:52   #3574
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Re: The New Joke Thread

When my TV is on, I’ve learned to just say “Yes Dear” every few minutes. Seems to keep her happy.
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Old 19-10-2018, 09:57   #3575
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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When my TV is on, I’ve learned to just say “Yes Dear” every few minutes. Seems to keep her happy.
Of course there was the time she asked if she could remodel the kitchen. That was an expensive “Yes Dear”.
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Old 19-10-2018, 10:08   #3576
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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What does a photon and a pirate have in common?


They both travel at c.


What's nu?

c over lambda
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Old 19-10-2018, 10:15   #3577
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Of course there was the time she asked if she could remodel the kitchen. That was an expensive “Yes Dear”.
Yup. Same thing happened when my friend Jimbo's wife said, "I want to remodel the house and add another 1200 sqft."

A month later, he came home from a business trip and the entire end of the house had been cut off, covered in plastic and work crews were busy. He got in the house and asked his wife, "Honey, is there something you'd like to tell me?" "Yeah. The last time we talked, I told you I wanted to add on to the house, and you said, "Yes, dear." Those were your exact words."

"how much is this "Yes dear" going to cost me?" "Well, the contractor wanted $45,000 for the job, but I slept with him and he knocked $10,000 off." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and said, "That's my girl! Good thinking!"
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Old 19-10-2018, 10:17   #3578
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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What's nu?

c over lambda
Buzzman doesn't get this one either.
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Old 19-10-2018, 13:16   #3579
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Buzzman doesn't get this one either.
If you have to explain it...

nu (new) is a greek letter used to represent the frequency of light at wavelength lambda. Since light travels at a speed represented by the letter c one can compute either the frequency or the wavelength given one of the variables in the equation nu = c divided by lambda.

As far as the joke, it's somewhat lame except for tech people like it.
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Old 19-10-2018, 17:58   #3580
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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As far as the joke, it's somewhat lame except for tech people like it.
Boffins, much like yotties, are easily amused...

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Old 19-10-2018, 18:13   #3581
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A psychologist was studying responses to sudden stress situations. He set up an experiment where the subject was sent into a small room alone. There was a wastebasket full of paper, and it would burst into flame as the subject entered. Also in the room were a fire blanket, a bucket of water and a Halon portable extinguisher. An observer took notes , looking through a one way window.

The first subject was a technician. He quickly grabbed the bucket,doused the flames and exited.

The second was a older person. He entered and not wanting to waste water, grabbed the fire blanket and snuffed out the fire and exited.

The third was a safety engineer. He entered, saw the fire and the extinguisher. Picked it up, read the four paragraphs of instructions, pulled the safety pin and began to activate the extinguisher. However, the delay in acting had allowed the fire to spread to the walls and he nearly ran out of Halon before it was all extinguished. He too exited, carrying the extinguisher so it could be refilled.

The fourth was a theoretical physicist. He entered and noted the presence of the three possible methods of extinguishing the flames. Having decided that any one would, in theory, suffice to extinguish the flames, he turned and exited.

Stereotypes are sooo useful...

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Old 20-10-2018, 04:43   #3582
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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... nu (new) is a greek letter used to represent the frequency of light at wavelength lambda...
FWIW: “Nu” is also a Yiddish expression of agreement, or is used to ask a simple question, instead of using words such as “So?” “Huh?” “Well?” “What’s up?” or “Hello?”
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Old 20-10-2018, 08:33   #3583
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Re: The New Joke Thread

That could get really confusing if you're talking to a Jewish physicist.
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Old 20-10-2018, 08:49   #3584
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Albert could keep it straight!
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Old 20-10-2018, 09:06   #3585
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Ok, that's one dead, not so average physicist.
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