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Old 20-10-2018, 09:11   #3586
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Re: The New Joke Thread

We used to have a small sign in the manager's office at work.

"In every project there comes a time to shoot the engineers and start production." Truer words were never spoken, especially with our engineers!
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Old 20-10-2018, 16:04   #3587
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Hey! I be a Injuneeer! Don knot offense me!
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Old 20-10-2018, 16:08   #3588
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Re: The New Joke Thread

As we used to say: "Fore yeers ago i coudent even spel engineer, now i r one."
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Old 20-10-2018, 16:18   #3589
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
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Hey! I be a Injuneeer! Don knot offense me!
That was hilarious because it's so true!

LOL
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Old 20-10-2018, 16:38   #3590
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Okay, since we're being silly, that (the word "knot", used in many nautical puns) reminded me of stuff that you might hear on the radio.


Actually heard, two boats from our marina:


"Patience, this is Knot Happening, over."
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Old 20-10-2018, 17:29   #3591
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnglaisInHull View Post
"Patience, this is Knot Happening, over."
Meanwhile in another harbour and from the collection of outside sources:

"Secret Agent Man this is Why Knot, over."
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'Wet Dreams, Wet dreams this is Nauti Crew'.
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"Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me this is Norfolk n Good."
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About three years ago, I overheard Solent coastguard remonstrating with a boat called "Hell". As you can imagine the conversation was interesting.
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I gave a tow to a boat called 'Hell's Bells'. It was interesting coordinating that over the radio.
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Spotted on the Deben a few years ago - HUGH JANUS.
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There's a boat round here called 'Knot Sure'. A couple of years ago he was involved in towing a disabled vessel - part of the RT traffic went like this:
Forth Coastguard, this is Knot Sure, Knot Sure, over.
This is Forth CG, say again the name of your vessel?
CG, Knot Sure, Knot Sure, over.
Station callling Forth CG, can you spell the name of your vessel....

You had to be there, really.
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One that always made me smile was "Kiss my Bass" on a local fishing boat.
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I remember hearing on the VHF in the Clyde, a gruff Scottish voice saying, "This is Daddie's Girl."
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I wonder if anyone has ever named their boat "Spartacus" - I just imagine the call going up, "I am Spartacus", "No, I am Spartacus" and so on...
***
And an honourable mention should go to Prince Jefri of Brunei and his superyacht Tits with its tenders Nipple1 and Nipple2.
***


Oops... Dinnertime!
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Old 20-10-2018, 18:17   #3592
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Getting back to obscure science jokes:


Rene DesCartes walks into a tea shop. The proprietor, pleased to see the famous mathematician and philosopher asks "Mr Descartes, would you like a cup of tea on the house?"

Descartes replies "I think not", and disappears.
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Old 20-10-2018, 18:36   #3593
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Re: The New Joke Thread

^^^^ Winner, Droll Award, this date. ^^^^


Je pense, donc je suis.
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Old 20-10-2018, 18:40   #3594
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by WanderingStar39 View Post
Getting back to obscure science jokes:


Rene DesCartes walks into a tea shop. The proprietor, pleased to see the famous mathematician and philosopher asks "Mr Descartes, would you like a cup of tea on the house?"

Descartes replies "I think not", and disappears.
Good one!

Jim
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Old 20-10-2018, 18:52   #3595
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Schrödinger and Heisenberg get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The cop asks "Do you know exactly how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies "No, because we knew exactly where we were." Thinking this to be suspicious the cop searches the car and asks them to pop the trunk.

He then returns to the window and says "Did you know you had a dead cat in your trunk?" and Schrödinger replies "Well, we couldn't be sure until someone looked."

They were both promptly arrested.
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Old 20-10-2018, 19:11   #3596
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Non technical...........
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Old 20-10-2018, 19:17   #3597
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Trump joke?
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Old 20-10-2018, 19:45   #3598
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Cate View Post
Good one!

Jim
Rene DesCartes walks into a tea shop. The proprietor, pleased to see the famous mathematician and philosopher asks "Mr Descartes, would you like a cup of tea on the house?"

Descartes replies "I think not", and disappears.

And Bertrand Russell asks....
How do you know its you that's doing the drinking?
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Old 20-10-2018, 19:54   #3599
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Re: The New Joke Thread

To be or not to be — William Shakespeare
To be is to do — Jean Paul Sartre
To do is to be — Bertrand Russell
Do be do be do — Frank Sinatra
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Old 20-10-2018, 19:57   #3600
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Doobie
Doobie
Doobie

- Snoop Dogg
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