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Old 06-09-2015, 06:26   #1
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Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

I'm divorced.

I have a 50' corecell/epoxy catamaran that needs a year worth of work inside and another dump truck full of money, including several staterooms and a rig done. (quote for rig? $48,000) It's currently in power boat mode.

I've been having a lot of good luck lately meeting great, incredibly attractive younger women. However, as a generality, they are not interested in living with me on half finished boats, nor traveling or leaving their jobs/family.

These women were met online at first, then in real life. They are scattered throughout the usa, many of them inland.

They all have local lives and aren't ready to travel, nevermind on a boat that is still a construction project.

I'm getting older now and though I can still attract very, very attractive women, it's not going to be that way much longer. I'm in a window of opportunity looks/money wise to attract great ones right now. BUT... I'm wasting a fortune on my boat and have basically nowhere to host anyone still due to it being unlivable for females (i can tough it out just fine)

So... I'm seriously considering selling this boat as a project boat, converting a box truck and roaming the country to date/meet people. Later, with someone or when I feel like it, I could put the vehicle on a roro ship and send it to various countries, fly there and explore.

I have been on boats for my whole adult life, living aboard, making a living from them, etc.

Boats feel confining to me right now in that I can't get anywhere quickly or travel to most of the world (just to the harbors) with them.

I am stuck on the East Coast of the USA. I want to go to the west coast, the Midwest, to Europe, Asia. By the time I get this boat done and ready for ocean crossings, I'll be much older. I could get an rv done in a few months. It's just one room/bathroom and systems. The catamaran is huge. So many rooms. I have also developed an epoxy allergy helping the pro builders that built the boat, so I can hardly do the odds and ends without discomfort. I had planned to finish the interior myself.

I'd love to hire someone to do the interior, but couldn't afford much more than $15/hr take home for them.

What's a single guy to do?

Keep sacrificing my life to this boat, or get out and go live?

Why are there so many single guys on boats too? That's kind of disturbing to think I may end up as one of them (no offense, but I'm very into being with women... like it more than boats).

What should I do?
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Old 06-09-2015, 06:43   #2
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

I was a single, divorcée living on my 'project' boat. Being on the water is in my blood and anyone that was going to be in my life was going to have to accept it. The ones that ran were not the right ones.

Here I am about to get married a second time. She gas been living aboard the boat with me for the last 3 years and we're shoving off after the wedding to go cruising.

If you love boating, you'll find a kindred spirit that will jump into the projects with you. If you can walk away without leaving a part of your soul behind, then run, don't walk away. This lifestyle takes dedication and sacrifice that landlubbers will never understand

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Old 06-09-2015, 06:50   #3
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pirate Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Sell it and get something smaller and ready to go..
Face it.. your a single guy and getting older.. time to give up the fantasy's of filling those staterooms with nubile, willing hotties and face facts..
1% of women love boats.. the other 99% view them as something to sip cocktails on in a calm sea anchored by a white beach fringed with palm trees.. then after sunset go home to the big bathroom and air conditioning..
The 'Headless Chicken Dance' is a waste of time..
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Old 06-09-2015, 06:56   #4
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
Sell it and get something smaller and ready to go..
Face it.. your a single guy and getting older.. time to give up the fantasy's of filling those staterooms with nubile, willing hotties and face facts..
1% of women love boats.. the other 99% view them as something to sip cocktails on in a calm sea anchored by a white beach fringed with palm trees.. then after sunset go home to the big bathroom and air conditioning..
The 'Headless Chicken Dance' is a waste of time..
Really loving all of this advice in the thread so far.

Small point to add: Those staterooms are for charter guests. Looking for one nubile young hottie in my crew room.
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Old 06-09-2015, 06:59   #5
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Don't go looking for women. Do things you want to do, travel where you want to go, get rid of any albatrosses hanging around your neck. If you do meet someone she'll be doing the things you like doing. No sense trying to change someone to fit the mold you're looking for. Think quality not quantity.

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Old 06-09-2015, 07:00   #6
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

I'm sure someone has cruising demographics somewhere, but if I were to break it down from personal observation, the population is 60% cruising couples, 39% divorced men, 1% other. Single, young, female cruisers are like unicorns.
One other thing, there's a big difference between having a boat, and living on a boat, at least as far as the dating scene goes. One conveys a spirit of adventure with fun day trips, the other is an overgrown boy - at least that's my experience.
Why not live the life you want while you can?


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Old 06-09-2015, 07:16   #7
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Sounds like your interest is "nimble young hotties" not someone you can you can share your life, passions and adventures with. If such is the case sell everything and piss all your money away chasing "nimble young hotties" who will gladly accept all the free gifts from you in your attempt to get laid...

OR do what the rest of us single sailors do. Continue pursuing our cruising lifestyle, enjoy life, and maybe, just maybe you'll come across that 1 in 10,000 that shares the same interests as you...

PRIORITIES... decide what you want out of life, then pursue it... only you can make that decision...
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:24   #8
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

There's an old saying which I'm sure you've heard: "Be careful what you ask for." Been there, done that! I don't know your age, but it seems that you are aware of the ticking clock. The shallowness of quick turnaround relationships robbed a good part of my life of purpose and meaning. Of course, that's not true in every case, but today, I am 78 and still have a love of the sea which never left me empty. And, yes, I am married with 7 grandchildren and one great grandchild. Now I am able to share that love. Nothing could be better.
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:25   #9
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by SunKing View Post
Sounds like your interest is "nimble young hotties" not someone you can you can share your life, passions and adventures with. If such is the case sell everything and piss all your money away chasing "nimble young hotties" who will gladly accept all the free gifts from you in your attempt to get laid...

OR do what the rest of us single sailors do. Continue pursuing our cruising lifestyle, enjoy life, and maybe, just maybe you'll come across that 1 in 10,000 that shares the same interests as you...

PRIORITIES... decide what you want out of life, then pursue it... only you can make that decision...
Priorities. Good point. Here they are.

1) Travel/flexibility to travel
2) Money required to travel
3) Nubile young hotties

Boats are great. A great thing to share with others. Frankly, I feel like I'm missing out on a week of my life when making a single handed passage. I've been on boats continuously for 20 years. The actual boating is nice, but not all that thrilling. I'm 42. 25-30 year old women are literally flocking. This can't last long.

I keep blowing it with them because I don't have a good setup... be it to go to their area or to have them live with me. (no car... full time liveaboard)

I think you were right that my priorities were out of whack. Boat was started during my marriage, so it has been more than confusing to transition to being single mid build. The ex and i made a good living doing charters.

Make no mistake about $$$$ though. I'm just the slightly older guy that younger wkmen gravitate to. Even my ex wife was 10 years younger. Always bern the case. I'm not buying anyone's affection.
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:28   #10
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Your issue with women is entirely separate from your issue with boats.
However, you seem to be messing up both issues equally well.

By creating barriers to you own success, you guarantee your failure. How about thinking of women as real people with their own dreams, careers, and goals. And how about owning a sailboat that actually sails if you want to go sailing.

You asked.
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:36   #11
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Sounds like you need to sell the boat and get yourself a bachelor pad.
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:41   #12
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by hamburking View Post
Your issue with women is entirely separate from your issue with boats.
However, you seem to be messing up both issues equally well.

By creating barriers to you own success, you guarantee your failure. How about thinking of women as real people with their own dreams, careers, and goals. And how about owning a sailboat that actually sails if you want to go sailing.

You asked.
I do fine with women. Tons of them around. Trying to choose one that's a good person inside.

I thought we were joking about the phrase nubile young women. I carried the joke. I don't really understand men, actually. No problems with women. Just being very selective this time around.

Although the living situation is hurting me to an extent.
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:42   #13
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pirate Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[QUOTE=2hullvenus;1908439]
Boats are great. A great thing to share with others. Frankly, I feel like I'm missing out on a week of my life when making a single handed passage. I've been on boats continuously for 20 years. The actual boating is nice, but not all that thrilling.
That's sad... seems your in it for all the wrong reasons

I'm 42. 25-30 year old women are literally flocking. This can't last long.
QUOTE]

So..?? I'm 67 in 6days.. usually broke.. just not restricted to a 5yr zone..
its not the wrapping mate its what's inside.. age is just a number.
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:46   #14
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

I guess it depends on what you really want to spend your time doing. Working on stuff, or enjoying the company of your lady friends in pretty places of your choosing.

Why buy a "truck," and spend time and money on it? Why not just sell off everything and buy a really nice turn key motorhome, or pick up and camper trailer, and get on with it? They have terrible depreciation curves. Are usually only very lightly used, and women love them if they are REALLY NICE AND CLEAN AND SMELL GOOD!!!!

Best of all, you aren't asking them to make a total lifestyle commitment to leave behind everything and everyone they know and love just to run off and live with you on your "work in progress." And for how long? Until you get bored with them? And then send them back to what?
I mean, think about what you are offering and what you are asking them to trade for it....
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:46   #15
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Do you really think a woman would be attracted to a box truck!
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