Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[PortClydeMe]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

You guys were all very helpful and I'm glad to have provided some entertainment along the way.

Thank you. Solution achieved.

Keep boat, get little van to explore.

Entertainment is not the correct word. The correct word is instruction. Instruction for me as to the importance of thinking twice before clicking the "Post Reply" button on human drama threads that are basically rambling nonsense.

[2hullvenus]

Originally Posted by PortClydeMe

Entertainment is not the correct word. The correct word is instruction. Instruction for me as to the importance of thinking twice before clicking the "Post Reply" button on human drama threads that are basically rambling nonsense.

You read the whole thing, Buddy. Glued to the screen awaiting the outcome apparently, judging by the timing of your response.

I'm sorry I soiled your forum.

Pretty sure this is an open place, owned by a group that owns several such forums and that you don't appear to be a member that supports it financially, nor a moderator of any type.

So.. your opinion doesn't matter.

I'm also pretty sure human emotions are a huge part of cruising. If we were emotionless robots, why would we cruise?

By the way, I think I'll support the forum financially. Anyone have a link to the sticky on that?

[bob_77903]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

Monte, I think you're right.

I'm going to just step back, continue finishing it and maybe just buy a van to go further afield inland when the urge arises.

I'll keep working on it, getting it closer and closer to a place I can invite females back to.

This is the best path, I think, now that the mental storm is settling.

I met a girl from South Africa last night here in Florida. As a data point, she is very, VERY interested in the boat and would be gone in a day on it if it were ready to cruise. Going out to dinner with her tonight (met in a bar last night).

So... maybe it's American women that are less compatible with boats..? who knows?.

Your advice is sage and is the path I will settle on now that the initial mental storm is settling down.

Ideally, I should just have both. The boat and a simple van for trips inland. I think this is what I'll do.

Thanks to all for posting, giving constructive advice and generally reading my breakdown, play by play.

Literally, the build has isolated me from everyone, so... i literally had no one else to talk to except the internet.

You guys were all very helpful and I'm glad to have provided some entertainment along the way.

Thank you. Solution achieved.

Keep boat, get little van to explore.

I concur with your decision. I know how much you've put into this project, and sure hope you can see it through. A van to slip away from time to time

[Pelagic]

2hv.....Hard to know if you are serious as some members know your history, (which I don't).

Also, if your boat isn't named yet.....you might consider Gadfly..

Seriously, we all know that many committed cruisers are often socially dysfunctional within the status quo and are rebels at heart.
Yet the hunger of finding that soulmate often blinds you to having an open mind and heart about how to do it?

It is not a problem to be solved but a feeling to be shared...

So good advice from others to kick back, take it easy and ground yourself in what matters most, so you can simply be yourself with others.

Women are something to be both cherished and respected.

Your partner should complement you. ....Not simply follow or mirror you and most importantly, they should grow in your company, not stagnate or wither especially if there is a large age difference

Bottom line, if you believe women are inferior, then odds are you will help to promote an inferior mindset with a woman who could be encouraged to be so much more.

Good luck in your journey

[PortClydeMe]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

You read the whole thing, Buddy. Glued to the screen awaiting the outcome apparently...

Nope. However, I promise that I will be glued to the screen should you post the transcripts from your divorce hearing. Probably some really good "entertainment" there.

Either that, or an ongoing post of your Snap Chat / Instagram dates, with photos and weekly follow-ups. That will be a hoot. Thanks in advance!

[downunder]

Originally Posted by colemj

Not a troll. A long-time ex-CF'r, ex-CTF'r (yes, I think he has been removed twice before here) that set up his own website, but that is gone now. Anyone who has been here (and there) over the years will recognize this, and understand the direction this thread will inevitably take. Those who haven't will be eventually sorry and have a "learning experience" to chalk up.

Buckle up.

BTW, this guy has built vans, is building a boat, can fix most boat systems and has much experience. All of that is beside the point here, though.

Mark

Arr 50 ft Kurt Hughes hull

[downunder]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

Monte, I think you're right.

I'm going to just step back, continue finishing it and maybe just buy a van to go further afield inland when the urge arises.

I'll keep working on it, getting it closer and closer to a place I can invite females back to.

This is the best path, I think, now that the mental storm is settling.

I met a girl from South Africa last night here in Florida. As a data point, she is very, VERY interested in the boat and would be gone in a day on it if it were ready to cruise. Going out to dinner with her tonight (met in a bar last night).

So... maybe it's American women that are less compatible with boats..? who knows?.

Your advice is sage and is the path I will settle on now that the initial mental storm is settling down.

Ideally, I should just have both. The boat and a simple van for trips inland. I think this is what I'll do.

Thanks to all for posting, giving constructive advice and generally reading my breakdown, play by play.

Literally, the build has isolated me from everyone, so... i literally had no one else to talk to except the internet.

You guys were all very helpful and I'm glad to have provided some entertainment along the way.

Thank you. Solution achieved.

Keep boat, get little van to explore.

Sounds a good solution

[Wendi]

There are always some difficult replies to forum posts, no matter what your subject or need might be. Filter out the harsh ones, pay attention to the ones that have some wisdom that guides you, and let it help you make your best decision.
It seems that through all the positive and negative posts you have found your solution. And perhaps you will also attract the woman who wants to share your adventure.

Almost everything I have posted here is met with useful and helpful information and totally useless, crushing opinions. Even my excitement of having someone find my message in a bottle, that was tossed out in the middle of the atlantic, turned into a huge argument about right and wrong and attacks. When the 2nd bottle was found recently on a deserted island in the Bahamas, I sure did not post about that! I had to keep my excitement to myself. Those poopyhead, joy crushers...

Good to see that you have made a decision. Might be the best of both worlds. And when it is no longer fun, hit the trail and drive!

[Billboy]

Be very careful my friend with taking on a young hottie.
Could be more trouble than she is worth.
Try a nice female of similar age with a good attitude that maybe just likes you.
She may well settle for the crew quarters.
My friend took on a young hottie. He thought he had died and gone to heaven.
He treated her right!
Off for a few weeks in the sun in a nice hotel then she learned to live in the lap of luxury.
Manicures, hair do and all with no work, no job.
Nice life.

After two years of this he was running out of money but when he suggested they start living inside of his means--- he was still working, as a hairdresser, she wasn't so impressed.
They downsized the home to something smaller as they didn't seem to need all that space. Read in they eased up the money so she could spend again.
Then the sold all those Unused items like his antique car,his sports car, his boat, then they liquidated his assets stocks as they didn't seem to be performing well and put all the money in a joint bank account.
After one last fling together she left, emptying the bank account as she went,
Bye bye. A note to say ----I will always remember you. Lovexxxxxx,

When the police found her a year later they said nothing they could do as it was a joint bank account and she said it was her money.
Hmm.
No fool like an old fool.
His brains drooped below his belt level.
He is now lonely and broke with no boat, although a little wiser.
He is still looking for true love.
Nothing wrong with looking.
There are lots of lonely woman out there who will be more than happy to share your crews quarters.
If they love you.
Mutual respect goes a long way.

[Pelagic]

Good long lasting relationships have nothing to do with differences in age/culture/education/finances etc

But it has everything to do with maintaining honesty, trust and commitment with each other.

In every relationship that can be hard work at times, but the benefits are incredible..

My young hottie after 12 years is just as hot, but very much her own independent accomplished person that happens to still love me and works beside me on looking after our boat.
...go figure !

[irenepsyhogios]

Go for someone older than you that knows what she wants because she's been there done that, and might have a little more time and money. There are some middle age hotties on Single Sailors Searching, on Facebook. But it sounds like your biggest problem is you want to travel and you haven't decided on a mode, other than it is not going to be high end. The limited budget AND the fixer upper precludes young hotties, I think.

I traveled in a cheap RV (paid $25,000 when I bought it 12 years ago, just sold it for $5,000) It was comfy but not fancy and it needed regular maintenance. I just got a cheap boat ($25,000) Same concept, comfy but needs this and that and will need regular maintenance. Assuming your gal loves traveling, is ok with simple accomodations, and doesn't need a lot of stuff, can you afford to do any activities at your destinations, do you want to? That's an added cost but makes your proposition more appealing. Do these ladies know what you can afford and what you are offering, tangible and intangible?

In a rambling way I am asking do you want to see the Grand Canyon, sky dive over it, take a picture with someone good looking on your arm, hike down it, have a picnic, talk about its formation, get drunk and have sex once you get there, get a job at the next stop, camp there for 2 weeks, have fun for as long as you can, fall in love and find a permanent partner? What do you really want? There is no right answer and an unlimited budget wouldn't help you answer the question.

Good luck. The problem is we want it all and it is hard to prioritize. Hence my suggestion to pick someone with a little more life experience. (Divorced and seeking myself, so I've "researched" this dilemma personally). 😊

[PortClydeMe]

irenepsychogios, haha Like single-malt Scotch, good French wine, and expensive Cuban cigars ... this thread just keeps getting better with age!

[hoppy]

Originally Posted by Billboy

Be very careful my friend with taking on a young hottie.

Could be more trouble than she is worth.

Try a nice female of similar age with a good attitude that maybe just likes you.

She may well settle for the crew quarters.

My friend took on a young hottie. He thought he had died and gone to heaven.

He treated her right!

Off for a few weeks in the sun in a nice hotel then she learned to live in the lap of luxury.

Manicures, hair do and all with no work, no job.

Nice life.



After two years of this he was running out of money but when he suggested they start living inside of his means--- he was still working, as a hairdresser, she wasn't so impressed.

They downsized the home to something smaller as they didn't seem to need all that space. Read in they eased up the money so she could spend again.

Then the sold all those Unused items like his antique car,his sports car, his boat, then they liquidated his assets stocks as they didn't seem to be performing well and put all the money in a joint bank account.

After one last fling together she left, emptying the bank account as she went,

Bye bye. A note to say ----I will always remember you. Lovexxxxxx,



When the police found her a year later they said nothing they could do as it was a joint bank account and she said it was her money.

Hmm.

No fool like an old fool.

His brains drooped below his belt level.

He is now lonely and broke with no boat, although a little wiser.

He is still looking for true love.

Nothing wrong with looking.

There are lots of lonely woman out there who will be more than happy to share your crews quarters.

If they love you.

Mutual respect goes a long way.

LOL the moral of that story has nothing to do with the age difference. She will happily screw over a guy her age I think.

I had a girl 15 years younger. We bought an apartment "together" and I paid for everything because she was a pretty young uni student.

She had a very comfortable 4star (with the occasional 5) lifestyle during her student years with me.

After we broke up I kept the apartment all my money except for about $6000 to hep her furnish her rental apartment and by shoes or whatever... At one point I suggested that she stop accepting the government student loan but she declined and is now working to pay off the debt.


It is little wonder the OP has struggled. If you want to entice someone to join you on a boating/travelling lifestyle you have zero chance if all they see is a project boat that you live aboard in uncomfortable circumstances. At least if it was finished maybe some women might at least be willing to go for a sail to see if they even like day sailing.

Someone mentioned that perhaps 1% might be interested in the dream and if that is true then I'd guess that only 0.01% would be interested in starting that dream from an unfinished project stage 😃


Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

[deathcruzer]

I am in a similar situation to you, only my truck is a 62 foot cutter. I am 4/5ths of the way through a restoration and still throwing money at her.
This is for me. There is room for my grown up kids and a new Asian partner. So far all is going to plan. Couple of years more and it will all come together.
Point is I am driving it for me, not for someone else.
Choose your life and go for it .
I don't think it's such a good Idea to try to supply a lifestyle someone else may want. Women are 10 a penny...good ones are rarer than hens teeth.
You never know when you meet women outside the states you may be suppressed at how different and less self-centred they are. The world is a big place and there are some great people out there.
If you are in your 40s then life hasn't even started yet. Make a plan.. Go your own way enjoy it.
See you on the water.

[colemj]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

By the way, I think I'll support the forum financially. Anyone have a link to the sticky on that?

Here is where people seem to be confused. By providing content (postings), you ARE financially supporting this forum.

CF is a business whose product (and profit) is its content - not a website put up and paid for by an individual.

Mark