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**GordMay** · 09-03-2021, 01:20

***

Jdege · 09-03-2021, 05:12

**GordMay** · 09-03-2021, 05:37

Pre-Brexit:

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Quebramar · 09-03-2021, 07:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by GordMay

Pre-Brexit:

[SIZE=3]

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

As is regularly the case, Germany seems to be ahead of the game: these last sentences sound as if pronounced by my German neighbour LOL [emoji23]

double u · 09-03-2021, 08:08

...& I invite all anglophones here to show us their superior pronounciatory prowess in the second language they speak...

**GordMay** · 09-03-2021, 08:54

Montanan · 09-03-2021, 09:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by double u

...& I invite all anglophones here to show us their superior pronounciatory prowess in the second language they speak...

That would be Montanan for me.

double u · 09-03-2021, 09:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by GordMay

...could it have escaped the Kraut-basher, that Italian, Spanish & french are Romance-languages with most of their roots in Latin, & that English, England having been under Norman rule for quite a while (The Lionheart e.g. in all probability spoke no English), has many words stemming from old French? German otoh is agermanic language...
...just sayin...
(btw: I'm NOT a Kraut...)

socaldmax · 09-03-2021, 09:54

Sammich!

VWKDF · 09-03-2021, 11:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by double u

(btw: I'm NOT a Kraut...)

Guessed that.

Are you a "Insert derogatory name for a group here"?

**StuM** · 09-03-2021, 12:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jdege

Sorry, I don't get the joke. Please explain?

**StuM** · 09-03-2021, 12:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by GordMay

Nope, Latin <> ananas.
The botanical name ananas is derived from a South American word and originates in the 1500 -1600s

Pineapples weren't know in Europe until well after latin became a dead language.

double u · 09-03-2021, 13:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by VWKDF

Guessed that.

Are you a "Insert derogatory name for a group here"?

YOU guys call the Germans "Krauts"...
(...& let me know what derogatory name you have for us "forest dwellers in our forest cities")

fxykty · 09-03-2021, 15:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by double u

YOU guys call the Germans "Krauts"...

(...& let me know what derogatory name you have for us "forest dwellers in our forest cities")

Well, I grew up with Polack (typically prefaced by “stupid”, which really was redundant based on the use of the nationality label) and when I moved away then Canuck. That one is sometimes meant disparagingly, but has been reclaimed (kind of like the n word for that community).

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb?

3 - one to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.