Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[Lepke]

I'm 70, living on the water for a long time, and for you guys looking for a younger, hot babe, you're just signing on to a lot of trouble. The better they look, the more trouble they are. For some reason I never got the hot babe bug, but I've seen many people hurt by it. You need to remember, it's all about the money. You can dress up the description, but it boils down to money. Women are pragmatic when choosing men after youth is behind them. Gold diggers come in all types. The ones after a rich man all the way down to the ones looking for a free place to live.
Women choosing to be with a man for money can't keep up a romantic relationship. Their heart's not in it. It was always about an easy life. Living on a boat isn't an easy life. It takes the kind of woman that could be happy in a remote cabin or a dirt farm. Rarely someone from current city life. Most women are not happy. They may have had brief times of happiness, but as they age it gets worse. They look to you to somehow "make them happy". The best you can do is change it for short times. Anything done today is forgotten tomorrow. So selling the boat and buying a house isn't the answer. Nor is abandoning your friends, changing your thoughts, clothes, speech and a hundred other things.

[TigerPaws]

Originally Posted by eltha12

From the female side of things, it's annoying to meet these 39% of divorced sailors who seem to look for 'the' perfect cruising bride that meets all needs of galley help, bunk service, boat and watch slave, laundry and shopping maid and best to shut up plus looks like a bikini girl. And which younger girl really wants a guy that is older, secretly looking at other bikini girls all the time or even drinks the world pretty and courageous? At least they should still have their own teeth.

It really seems like your life clock time is slipping away and you would rather identify yourself with some young chick by your side than a real boat/life partner of value and it sounds like you have a priority in sexual satisfaction rather than cruising satisfaction.

I would give the boat away cheap to someone younger who would appreciate fixing it up and cruises the seas as a chance and otherwise just charter boats at your leisure and can tour around visiting all those hotties and women around the U.S. and Asia and bring your Porsche or somethin' convertible or a fast boat or rocket to take them for a drive into the sunset.....

Best to just do whatever you really like best. Life's too short not to.

good luck.

eltha12 as a 64 year old confirmed bachelor with no intention or need of marrying and someone who has been livingaboard and traveling up and down the Caribbean and South America for the past 11 years I speak with some experience.

Recently I put ashore a beautiful 46 year old woman after 2 months aboard. She was nice enough, intelligent and a quick learner who did well aboard Seaquest OE but her PMS fueled temper was more than I was willing to put up with. She would fly into a hormone driven rage for 24 to 36 hours then apologize saying that she could not help herself.

While in the midst of her last fit of hormone fueled rage I gave her 15 minutes to gather her things and I put her ashore at Port Elizabeth.

I weighed anchor 30 minutes later and left that nut case in my wake.

[fuentes]

Originally Posted by Lepke

I'm 70, living on the water for a long time, and for you guys looking for a younger, hot babe, you're just signing on to a lot of trouble. The better they look, the more trouble they are. For some reason I never got the hot babe bug, but I've seen many people hurt by it. You need to remember, it's all about the money. You can dress up the description, but it boils down to money. Women are pragmatic when choosing men after youth is behind them. Gold diggers come in all types. The ones after a rich man all the way down to the ones looking for a free place to live.
Women choosing to be with a man for money can't keep up a romantic relationship. Their heart's not in it. It was always about an easy life. Living on a boat isn't an easy life. It takes the kind of woman that could be happy in a remote cabin or a dirt farm. Rarely someone from current city life. Most women are not happy. They may have had brief times of happiness, but as they age it gets worse. They look to you to somehow "make them happy". The best you can do is change it for short times. Anything done today is forgotten tomorrow. So selling the boat and buying a house isn't the answer. Nor is abandoning your friends, changing your thoughts, clothes, speech and a hundred other things.

Ay amigo! It is often so true. And yet, "la esperanza muere al ultimo" Hope is the last to die. Have a nice day.

[TigerPaws]

Originally Posted by fuentes

Ay amigo! It is often so true. And yet, "la esperanza muere al ultimo" Hope is the last to die. Have a nice day.

Sir, Hope is what you have left when all else is lost.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by TigerPaws

Sir, Hope is what you have left when all else is lost.

I think the common phrase is :
"A hope and a prayer"

I usually found that focusing on the problem at hand, more beneficial

[jhulmer]

Originally Posted by boatman61

ChiChi.. all I can say is I go into most things with trust in human nature and a dose of realism.. maybe its down to my early formative years when nuns dispelled my delusion that religious people were benevolent and loving.. or that Buddhist monks were calm meditative folk.. and learning that most of the propaganda about life was just lies to candy floss the ugly realities.
Many say that trust is something to be earned.. for me trust is something to be lost.. however not trusting someone does not mean I do not like them anymore.. it just means I'm aware of their weaknesses and can make allowances.
Take a crew mate for example.. while I may have complete trust in their ability to maintain a good watch for 4hours.. that does not mean I trust them to do a MOB recovery if I go overboard..
We have many limits to live within.. how we allow them to affect us is our choice.. not others.
Cynical..???
Maybe!!!

Very well put! I wouldn't call you Cynical. I would call you a realist.

[lifeofreilly57]

Originally Posted by Lepke

I'm 70, living on the water for a long time, and for you guys looking for a younger, hot babe, you're just signing on to a lot of trouble. The better they look, the more trouble they are. For some reason I never got the hot babe bug, but I've seen many people hurt by it. You need to remember, it's all about the money. You can dress up the description, but it boils down to money. Women are pragmatic when choosing men after youth is behind them. Gold diggers come in all types. The ones after a rich man all the way down to the ones looking for a free place to live.
Women choosing to be with a man for money can't keep up a romantic relationship. Their heart's not in it. It was always about an easy life. Living on a boat isn't an easy life. It takes the kind of woman that could be happy in a remote cabin or a dirt farm. Rarely someone from current city life. Most women are not happy. They may have had brief times of happiness, but as they age it gets worse. They look to you to somehow "make them happy". The best you can do is change it for short times. Anything done today is forgotten tomorrow. So selling the boat and buying a house isn't the answer. Nor is abandoning your friends, changing your thoughts, clothes, speech and a hundred other things.

Well said.
I was single again in my late forties and was just fine with that, I had raised a family and was now single again and did not feel the need for a wife. Dates were fine but I liked my life as it was. I was in good shape, ran and exercised regularly and had good health. Many of my male co-workers and casual friends would suggest I date young, hot girls. My general answer was why? They're twenty five and I have twenty five year old underwear, other than that we'd have little in common., sure, they look great, but as soon as they open their mouths the pain would start, having to listen to the inane stuff that they focused on was painful. I preferred older women who had gotten by the drama, were secure in themselves, knew what they wanted and were pretty straight about it.
I still was not interested in co-habitation though, my dog and I got along just fine, and he was super on the boat. Then I met a woman at a sail race party who the captain recruited to keep the guys on the boat organised and in line, in other words, make sure they didn't mess up either on the boat or in town after races, she manages 10 crewmen for 14 years before I met her. Turns out we had the same goals, same priorities and common work ethics. Needless to say, I'm married again, raising two boys and all is good. When she was under the boat scraping the hull with me after our first year together I knew I'd made the right decision, not what I planned but better.
It's very rare to find a woman with the spine, drive, ambition and same love for sailing, and looks good too. If you think your going to get the bikini babe who's never lived on a boat to love sailing and living aboard your smoking something stronger than I am. My first wife was definitely high maintenance, loved her fashion duds and 100 shoe collection, she looked fine but didn't transition well to the boat, it wasn't "luxurious enough", and never, ever helped work on it. Funny enough though when talking to her a little while ago she mentioned how much she missed being on the water, the thought of it is better than the reality.
Want a woman to live aboard? Find someone who already has the sea in her veins, otherwise you're just causing yourself pain you don't need.
If you do? You best be able to share all the duties, cooking, cleaning, maintenance, shopping, watches, and finances, it's a two way street, otherwise your living in a small space with nowhere to hide.

[Hasbeen]

I started cruising with a wife. We had a great time for about 3 years. Then we got caught by the edge of a cyclone in a place where cyclones aren't supposed to happen & she flew home to mother.


A couple of years later I was advised we were divorced. I then cruised the same few thousand square miles of the Pacific islands for some years. There were a occasional ladies, but none I wanted to keep permanently.


Then I met a young hottie, 12 years my junior in a small Queensland port, & she moved on board. We cruised for a while, ran tourist boats for a while, then resorts.


However 10 years later the boat was gone & I had bought a farm, that she kept filling up with kids. I do still own a sailing dinghy & a sailing canoe I've taught the kids to sail, But I'm unlikely to go to sea again. The only sailing I do is teaching the grand kids.


No I'm not sorry, but I suggest you do be careful, those young hotties may have a different agenda to the one you've planed for them.

[owly]

I'm perhaps too cynical.... though I really have no reason to be (personally). Married once, left her nearly 40 years ago. I didn't hate her, I just found it simply was not worth the pain & effort, and we had different directions in life. A mistake marrying her in the first place.
Unfortunately it seems that for me relationships always turn long term.... I'm must not a casual sex kind of guy. What I've concluded is that men and women are in general not compatible outside the bedroom except in rare cases. It's a lot of work to make it work, and you have to ask yourself "is it worth the effort". I have many female friends, but not a single one I would want to live with. I gave up on goddesses many years ago.



A bit of advice I give people when they fall in love... or is it "fall in heat"? Take the person of your dreams out and get them very very drunk a number of times. If you like each other in the drunken state as well as sober, you are probably a good long term match. People become what they really are when they get drunk....... It doesn't change them, it brings what they are to the forefront. It may take several applications, and of course if your relationship is based on alcohol and drinking, it's generally doomed from the start. Use it as a tool to see their inner self, not a way to get along. When people get older, they tend to become what you saw when they were drinking. Absurd as it may sound, it truly is valid.


H.W.

[TigerPaws]

Originally Posted by Hasbeen

I started cruising with a wife. We had a great time for about 3 years. Then we got caught by the edge of a cyclone in a place where cyclones aren't supposed to happen & she flew home to mother.

A couple of years later I was advised we were divorced. I then cruised the same few thousand square miles of the Pacific islands for some years. There were a occasional ladies, but none I wanted to keep permanently.

Then I met a young hottie, 12 years my junior in a small Queensland port, & she moved on board. We cruised for a while, ran tourist boats for a while, then resorts.

However 10 years later the boat was gone & I had bought a farm, that she kept filling up with kids. I do still own a sailing dinghy & a sailing canoe I've taught the kids to sail, But I'm unlikely to go to sea again. The only sailing I do is teaching the grand kids.

No I'm not sorry, but I suggest you do be careful, those young hotties may have a different agenda to the one you've planed for them.

Good for you.

[john61ct]

Originally Posted by owly

Take the person of your dreams out and get them very very drunk a number of times. If you like each other in the drunken state as well as sober, you are probably a good long term match. People become what they really are when they get drunk....... It doesn't change them, it brings what they are to the forefront. It may take several applications, and of course if your relationship is based on alcohol and drinking, it's generally doomed from the start. Use it as a tool to see their inner self, not a way to get along.

Start out shopping for mates at AA meetings

[weavis]

Originally Posted by owly

I'm perhaps too cynical.... though I really have no reason to be (personally). Married once, left her nearly 40 years ago. I didn't hate her, I just found it simply was not worth the pain & effort, and we had different directions in life. A mistake marrying her in the first place.
Unfortunately it seems that for me relationships always turn long term.... I'm must not a casual sex kind of guy. What I've concluded is that men and women are in general not compatible outside the bedroom except in rare cases. It's a lot of work to make it work, and you have to ask yourself "is it worth the effort". I have many female friends, but not a single one I would want to live with. I gave up on goddesses many years ago.



A bit of advice I give people when they fall in love... or is it "fall in heat"? Take the person of your dreams out and get them very very drunk a number of times. If you like each other in the drunken state as well as sober, you are probably a good long term match. People become what they really are when they get drunk....... It doesn't change them, it brings what they are to the forefront. It may take several applications, and of course if your relationship is based on alcohol and drinking, it's generally doomed from the start. Use it as a tool to see their inner self, not a way to get along. When people get older, they tend to become what you saw when they were drinking. Absurd as it may sound, it truly is valid.


H.W.

Lol....... We disagree.

[seadago]

Keep your eye on the ball!!

Did you chose a cruising life so you could have a romance? Don't bother. Want company while you are cruising? Get a dog, a cat, a parrot! You want woman? Lots of them on land. And if you let them stay there, it will always be a matter of choice for you. Get one onboard on a permanent basis, and that will no longer be the case.

[1Sunseeker]

Women are great to have around. But it is cheaper to pay in advance than later. Go South to about 8 degrees North, there are a lot of women for hire. Some even like boating.

[eclecticjoy]

What if we put the same amount of effort into finding a life partner as we did a boat?
We do a lot of research finding the boat we want, we might even fly halfway across the world to see it. It might be beautiful with a nice paint job, but we still order the survey.
When we find the right boat we love it and want to buy it, we don't rent it. We treat something we buy much better than something we rent.

We're looking for the person we want to spend the rest of our life with, the person we want to go to bed with and say, "wasn't that a great day! What shall we do tomorrow?", then make love. The person we will trust with all our finances, the one person we want holding our hand on our deathbed.

Shouldn't we work as hard to find them as we would a boat?