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31-07-2017, 20:12
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#31
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Tampa Fl
Boat: Catalina 36 / Morgan 33 OI
Posts: 166
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Did you say...no cost sharing? it's all hers? You are there only to work? Whatever she decides?
Guess what.... you will have ......no say, no decisions, no opinions, no voice, no peace, no joy.
Who thought of this idea of sharing?
Best to hang around a marina on weekends and sail with your buddies. At least you might get to laugh once in a while rather than bite your tongue.
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31-07-2017, 20:12
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#32
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Jacksonville/ out cruising
Boat: Island Packet 38
Posts: 31,351
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Quote:
Originally Posted by gamayun
and other similar sentiments --- so are you guys saying that if she says "no" then he will resort to raping her?! Seriously, if two people can't be adults and remain platonic because that's what has been decided, then we're seriously f**ked as a civilized culture. So the question is whether you two can remain friends and without jealousy if she brings a lover on board.
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Good Lord no, but I can't imagine being good friends with an Ex to start with and I believe that Men and Women are sort of genetically programmed so that if they are together 24/7 for extended times they are either going to become more than friends, or enemies. Nothing to do with violence of course unless they are a violent person.
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31-07-2017, 20:32
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#33
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 48
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguy68
Ok, here's the thing. I have been working for a few years to find the right boat for me and my ex-gf/ex-fiancee (currently just friends, not even the best of) to live on and cruise the US coast and down to the caribbean/bahamas. I think I found the boat, and she agrees that it checks alot of the right boxes. She has been told by a relative whose friend has a sailboat that yearly costs to maintain a sailboat could equal or exceed 50k which is about what the boat costs (40' 1983 Bayfield). I have told her that yearly averages are equal to or less than half that to even live in a bit of luxury.
My question to you guys/gals is, Can two people who used to be together live on a 40' sailboat as just friends? and work together on cruising videos for youtube/patreon?
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Funny you should ask, cause just this morning I was thinking that somebody needs to up the game on these so-called "home movies" and make a real sitcom. The absurdity of your situation, or proposed situation, is sitcom ready. All it needs is a plot, actors, and cameras.
Generally, I think these vlogs succeed in the same consumer space and for the same reason that sitcoms succeed. The people on the screen are good company. Their tensions are amusing and ultimately get resolved. But in a really successful show the meta-tension, usually a sexual tension, never gets resolved.
So it really comes down to whether the two of you have the skills to hold court. All the other elements are there.
--- oh, I just noticed your screen name. Shyness might be something you can work with. Maybe she can set you up on dates with some of her friends. The comic possibilities are all over that plot. Good camera work would be needed to catch the odd sideways glance, just slightly suggesting uncertainty, if not jealousy on her part. Doesn't matter if she actually feels it in real life - it's a show! Have someone interview each of you occasionally about how you feel about each other. Maybe a therapist who lives on the boat next door. ...
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31-07-2017, 20:46
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#34
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Cowichan Bay, BC (Maple Bay Marina)
Posts: 9,707
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguy68
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Can two people who used to be together live on a 40' sailboat as just friends? and work together on cruising videos for youtube/patreon?
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That's a waste of time to begin with.
Why bother?
If you two can get along, who are we to argue? Only YOU two can know that.
__________________
Stu Jackson
Catalina 34 #224 (1986) C34IA Secretary
Cowichan Bay, BC, SR/FK, M25, Rocna 10 (22#) (NZ model)
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01-08-2017, 00:56
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#35
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Cebu
Boat: Cranchi Atlantique 48
Posts: 280
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
This is really a relationship question, not a boating question.
Is it wise to plan for long trips in confined spaces with your ex?
No.
Better to make a clean break, and move on.
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01-08-2017, 01:10
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#36
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,338
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Ha ha. No
__________________
Simon
Bavaria 50 Cruiser
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01-08-2017, 01:39
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#37
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 356
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Apparently, it can work if you also have two big labradoodles.
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01-08-2017, 05:36
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#38
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 11,002
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Sounds like a lead in to a movie. Just can decide if its:
- A romantic comedy.
- A lifetime movie where everything starts out wonderful before things gradually turn ugly.
Since most romantic comedies are total BS, I'm betting on the second.
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01-08-2017, 06:07
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#39
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Key West
Boat: '83 Endeavour 40
Posts: 138
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Why would you want to!!!!! MOVE ON, LIFES TO SHORT,
__________________
Life's a journey, not a destination
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01-08-2017, 06:40
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#40
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 49,528
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Perhaps; but not likely.
However (true story):
Ned & June were best friends; so compatible that everyone said they should get married. They did, and within months divorced, but remained best friends.
Ned met Beth, fell in love and they got engaged. Beth moved aboard Ned’s 38' sailboat.
June & Beth became fairly good friends.
June lost her job, and had to give up her apartment.
June moved aboard with Ned & Beth.
June & Beth became even closer (best) friends, and the three lived together for about a year.
Ned was murdered.
June & Beth continued to live aboard Ned’s boat, until they were evicted for non-payment of boat loan.
June & Beth rented an apartment together, and continued to share accommodations for several years (maybe more). They continued to remain friends (and socialize with) with their (& Ned’s) former dockmates.
We moved, and lost track of them.
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
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01-08-2017, 06:43
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#41
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Jacksonville/ out cruising
Boat: Island Packet 38
Posts: 31,351
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
So who murdered Ned?
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01-08-2017, 08:47
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#42
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Portsmouth, RI
Boat: Bristol 29
Posts: 44
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
My GF and I have a hard time being anything BUT friends, given the width of the bunks in my old Bristol 27!
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01-08-2017, 08:50
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#43
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Alaska
Boat: Boatless
Posts: 928
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
No
Rewatch "When Harry met Salley" as a review ;-)
__________________
www.sailingohana.com
"Take it all in, it's as big as it seems, count all your blessings, remember your dreams" JB
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01-08-2017, 09:01
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#44
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: fl- various marinas
Boat: morgan O/I 33' sloop
Posts: 1,447
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Your answer is not 'no' it's more like 'hell no'. Might be possible with friends of different sexes but very high chance that one winds up wanting more. With ex-lovers there is little to no chance. How would you handle her bringing home a new friend for the night? How would she handle it? Remember even big boats are small and sound carries.
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01-08-2017, 09:08
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#45
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 4
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?
Lol. Try this, rent a 1 bedroom apartment and the two of you move into it for 6 months. Everything you do you must do together, get rid of your cars and minimize your interactions with others except for phone and email. At the end of the six month period you are still friends I would say you could do it. Most likely you will pretty much hate each other and will be glad your not on a boat far from home.
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