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Old 31-07-2017, 14:54   #1
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Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

Ok, here's the thing. I have been working for a few years to find the right boat for me and my ex-gf/ex-fiancee (currently just friends, not even the best of) to live on and cruise the US coast and down to the caribbean/bahamas. I think I found the boat, and she agrees that it checks alot of the right boxes. She has been told by a relative whose friend has a sailboat that yearly costs to maintain a sailboat could equal or exceed 50k which is about what the boat costs (40' 1983 Bayfield). I have told her that yearly averages are equal to or less than half that to even live in a bit of luxury.

My question to you guys/gals is, Can two people who used to be together live on a 40' sailboat as just friends? and work together on cruising videos for youtube/patreon?
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Old 31-07-2017, 15:32   #2
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

Awww no. lol at least not me. I think also to make a good vlog and videos there needs to be a connection. Just my opinion. Can it be done, sure why not! It depends on how well you really get along.

If you two go out and you see her go home with someone, will it bother you? If oh met someone along the way will it bother her?
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Old 31-07-2017, 15:42   #3
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

I'm going to go out on a limb here, for you.
"...me and my ex-gf/ex-fiancee (currently just friends, not even the best of)?"

Make a new plan, Stan. You deserve better. Find a new lover/best friend to share your berth. Just MHO. P.S. Make it a younger one :-)
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Old 31-07-2017, 15:44   #4
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

I think it's a great idea if you have the balls to share a warts and all video. I am getting a bit sick of all the "This is so great and we are having fun sailing YouTube videos" It sounds like you and your ex could be on a winner if you post Jerry Springer type sailing videos!
Plenty of sailing couples have strained there realationships sailing together, so sailing with an ex will be very interesting. I imagine you could be the next big YouTube stars.
Cheers
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Old 31-07-2017, 15:50   #5
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguy68 View Post
Ok, here's the thing. I have been working for a few years to find the right boat for me and my ex-gf/ex-fiancee (currently just friends, not even the best of) to live on and cruise the US coast and down to the caribbean/bahamas. I think I found the boat, and she agrees that it checks alot of the right boxes. She has been told by a relative whose friend has a sailboat that yearly costs to maintain a sailboat could equal or exceed 50k which is about what the boat costs (40' 1983 Bayfield). I have told her that yearly averages are equal to or less than half that to even live in a bit of luxury.

My question to you guys/gals is, Can two people who used to be together live on a 40' sailboat as just friends? and work together on cruising videos for youtube/patreon?
There's nothing to prevent you from living together on a 40 foot boat. But there's probably a reason why she's an ex-girlfriend and not your current girlfriend. I'm thinking you probably don't want that baggage in such close quarters.
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Old 31-07-2017, 15:57   #6
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

hobopacket; it would not bother me if she had someone else in her bunk, as we are beyond the friends with benefits period. as for me finding someone, I'm quite happy to just be on the boat on the water.

fore and aft; you may have made my day with the idea of making a sailing vlog with her and I just being friends without all the happy smiling faces. As I've seen "living aboard is not all lollipops and unicorns".

danielamartindm; I know I deserve better, but I don't really want better, I'm just happy enough to be on the water cruising, and doing diy projects when needed. Learning how to fix what's broken while I'm still able
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Old 31-07-2017, 15:59   #7
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

Perfect candidates for a multihull

Seriously, only you and your ex can know if that will work,
...but pretty sure it will not be a long term situation as both/either will want to consummate their experiences with someone special in their lives
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Old 31-07-2017, 16:01   #8
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

Terrapin; well, I don't have and don't want another gf for many reasons. With her finally at the stage of retirement, and me with a good 5 to 10 years to enjoy untying the lines, the time couldn't be better
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Old 31-07-2017, 16:06   #9
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

Not a chance, of course I don't think opposite sexes can live together and only be friends, it's going one way or the other. Biology sees to that, or maybe psychology.
Now if one were gay, maybe? I guess.
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Old 31-07-2017, 16:17   #10
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

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Originally Posted by shyguy68 View Post
hobopacket; it would not bother me if she had someone else in her bunk, as we are beyond the friends with benefits period. as for me finding someone, I'm quite happy to just be on the boat on the water.

fore and aft; you may have made my day with the idea of making a sailing vlog with her and I just being friends without all the happy smiling faces. As I've seen "living aboard is not all lollipops and unicorns".

danielamartindm; I know I deserve better, but I don't really want better, I'm just happy enough to be on the water cruising, and doing diy projects when needed. Learning how to fix what's broken while I'm still able
Fair winds, and following seas.
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Old 31-07-2017, 16:26   #11
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

Maybe if one or both of you are neutered.
A cruising boat is a small place. It puts strains on healthy relationships and kills a fair number of previously marginal relationships. On cruising boats that I've seen 'unrelated' duos on, the ones that seem successful are goal oriented, typically making lots of passages to the next location, rather than the slow, hangout type cruising.
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Old 31-07-2017, 16:29   #12
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

I cannot understand why anyone would even consider living on a small boat ( or even a big house ) with someone they don't like. It's really not all that hard to go out and find someone you like and enjoy being with.
I cannot see the situation you describe as lasting long or ending well.
Good luck.
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Old 31-07-2017, 16:41   #13
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

Liam; it's not that I don't or didn't like her as a partner, it's just that we were on different pages....but when it comes to a boat, we seem to be on the same page as far as the right boat and the plan to travel. We just aren't roantically compatible, yet can get along in conversation as she understands my way of thinking (autism spectrum)
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Old 31-07-2017, 16:53   #14
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Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

I think it makes a difference how old you are. Under 65, no chance this will end well. Over 65, there's a 50/50 chance.
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Old 31-07-2017, 17:23   #15
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Re: Can 2 people live aboard and just be friends?

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Originally Posted by a64pilot View Post
Not a chance, of course I don't think opposite sexes can live together and only be friends, it's going one way or the other. Biology sees to that, or maybe psychology.
Now if one were gay, maybe? I guess.
I think if I wanted a friend, I'd choose a guy; they're saner.
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