How I met my boat mate

[first wind]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

There is probably already a thread on this, if this is forgive me and share the link.

I see posts on "women on boats" and "where to find a mate" and such things. I have no great insights, so I'll just share my story...

Single father and sailor. Some would say narcissistic sailor, since on weekends we are on the boat, period. We (I) don't do town summer events, family parties, or other ashore crap. No weddings, showers, kiddie birthday parties, bachelor parties, nothing. Summer weekends are boat weekends. Period.

It took me 18 months after I filed for divorce to get the ex booted out of our home. During this time I felt it inappropriate to have another woman in my life lest it effect my little one.

Finally, I joined an online dating site and poked around. I looked a lot. There were plenty of smokin' hot women, including women pictured on boats. You know- bikinis, drinks, the ex cut out of the photo types. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good party, and boating is often about partying, but I didn't want some party chick.

One day I saw a photo of a gal sitting on a rock. Nothing but dusky blue sea behind her, sitting on a rock at the very edge of the stone beach.

Damn, I know that rock. Despite the inability to see where the water and sky split, and no land-based identifiers at all, I know that rock. That's my daughter's rock. That's the one we anchor offshore and she likes to slide down on the lakeside into the water. I KNOW that rock. I know exactly where that is!

I looked at her other photos. Some on boats, some hiking. All respectful. A golf photo? Hmmmm...suspect. Potential problem. But she had a photo of hers and her son's kayaks ("please send photo of boat and motor" ...one of the best funny but serious boating statements ever.)

Now, I am a guy. That means I am retarded. This is no offense to those with Downs Syndrome, it is the reality of being male...innocence and ignorance. Dating websites advise "never tell a woman 'I seen you before!'" and in my innocence I sent her a simple message not expecting anything in return (that's ignorance).

I sent a message "you're on my daughter's rock!" and went on shortly to tell her where that rock is. That's all. Duh. Rule #1 broken. And, I didn't express any interest in her.

Long story short, she suggest we meet at a Pennera. I hate Pannera, or anything like it. I have no use for "Starbucks" type places- crap food at national prices with that neo-suburban atmosphere. I did it anyway, fargin' socialist over-priced generation-whatever junk place. We hit it off.

On our second date (first real date, they have some other name for the first not-internet-date place) I invited her to hike the frozen shoreline. She showed up with snowpants and real boots. Not girl boots, not fashion boots, but real boots. ZZ Top - how how how. Can you hear the music? A real person...and (ooooohhhh) female.

Well, that's about the end of the story. She'll get dirty. She doesn't puke in crappy conditions. She doesn't like to be cold and wet, but doesn't complain (I do). She doesn't bitch about sh*t conditions- "(slam) we're making almost 2knots CMG (slam) we should be there (slam) in 12 hours". She even save us once- "why is there a log sticking up our here?" oh ****, that's not on the chart!

OK, now THAT is the end of my story. I am blessed. The perfect companion and partner is rare- but they are out there.

that's awesome! i never see women like that except attached to other guys. congratulations. it's good to hear happy endings.

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by first wind

that's awesome! i never see women like that except attached to other guys. congratulations. it's good to hear happy endings.

I wonder how much of this is your own "fault"?

It seems to me, based on my near 50 years of female sexuality, that often men seem drawn to lipstick and high heels girls but complain about how they are high maintenance and won't participate in more outdoorsy adventures. Not seeing the available "low maintenance" women might be because you are more interested in the other kind.

I'll never forget my brothers explanation about why I couldn't get a date "you aren't the kind of girls guys date, you are the kind they marry."

To my tortured 20 year old self this sounded like a contradiction. But really this was a peek into the male mind. If you want a partner to experience adventures with you have to stop looking at the more flashy creatures and consciously seek out more down to earth types. Look at their shoes more often. Start imagining how sexy red chucks are in a real blow and you will find bikinis on the bow are only as sexy as the image.

[first wind]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

I wonder how much of this is your own "fault"?

It seems to me, based on my near 50 years of female sexuality, that often men seem drawn to lipstick and high heels girls but complain about how they are high maintenance and won't participate in more outdoorsy adventures. Not seeing the available "low maintenance" women might be because you are more interested in the other kind.

I'll never forget my brothers explanation about why I couldn't get a date "you aren't the kind of girls guys date, you are the kind they marry."

To my tortured 20 year old self this sounded like a contradiction. But really this was a peek into the male mind. If you want a partner to experience adventures with you have to stop looking at the more flashy creatures and consciously seek out more down to earth types. Look at their shoes more often. Start imagining how sexy red chucks are in a real blow and you will find bikinis on the bow are only as sexy as the image.

No. actually, i literally only see sailor girls that are with guys. i have yet to run across one that was single. but, that is probably just my bad luck. biker chicks are easy to find. sailor chicks...not so much.

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by first wind

No. actually, i literally only see sailor girls that are with guys. i have yet to run across one that was single. but, that is probably just my bad luck. biker chicks are easy to find. sailor chicks...not so much.

Sailor chicks don't have "a look" or "uniform" the way biker chicks often do, they might be harder to spot. The salty wench will probably the confident and competent women you meet. She might even be wearing red chucks....

[Tetepare]

I think this is great! However, since she looks maybe 60, that means you met when she was 12, which in this day and age is illegal.

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

I first took the lady with the red Converse "Chuck Taylors" for a sail on my 12' boat 48 years ago. Sure, nothing lasts forever, but we're making a good run!
....but I still don't know why she needs to carry this stick when I sit next to her?

[Tetepare]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

Sailor chicks don't have "a look" or "uniform" ....

Yes they do. Ponytail, raccoon-eyes from sunglasses, cargo shorts, yacht club belt, limited to no jewelry, Kershaw hanging in the pocket, tough hands, freckled shoulders, and bruised legs. And smiling. May be short or tall. Hair color varies. I can spot 'em a mile away.

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

I think this is great! However, since she looks maybe 60, that means you met when she was 12, which in this day and age is illegal.

Or she just looks great! K.I.S.S. my friend!

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

I think this is great! However, since she looks maybe 60, that means you met when she was 12, which in this day and age is illegal.

Nancie appreciates you giving her the decade deduction. We met when she was 21.

[senormechanico]

I grabbed mine when she was 19. We got married 6 months later.
That was late 1969. Married April 1970.

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

Yes they do. Ponytail, raccoon-eyes from sunglasses, cargo shorts, yacht club belt, limited to no jewelry, Kershaw hanging in the pocket, tough hands, freckled shoulders, and bruised legs. And smiling. May be short or tall. Hair color varies. I can spot 'em a mile away.

Yep....and short, unpolished nails, no makeup, along with a "can do" attitude that seems to scare off most men.

Loved your story, Tetepare!

[redhead]

Especially the bruised legs - I know I've told this story before but it's one of my favorites. Standing in an airport waiting for someone to arrive we noticed a very well kept woman waiting near us. I whispered in his ear and he walked over to her (something one does not do in NY) and asked her what kind of boat she had. She was gob smacked and, of course, asked us how we knew. My husband pointed to her bruises and then to mine. Mystery solved - we all dissolved in giggles.

[first wind]

Originally Posted by redhead

Especially the bruised legs - I know I've told this story before but it's one of my favorites. Standing in an airport waiting for someone to arrive we noticed a very well kept woman waiting near us. I whispered in his ear and he walked over to her (something one does not do in NY) and asked her what kind of boat she had. She was gob smacked and, of course, asked us how we knew. My husband pointed to her bruises and then to mine. Mystery solved - we all dissolved in giggles.

i don't tend to bruise easily (in fact, i almost never get bruises), so, maybe i don't get it. what are the leg bruises from?

[redhead]

Originally Posted by first wind

i don't tend to bruise easily (in fact, i almost never get bruises), so, maybe i don't get it. what are the leg bruises from?

In my case the traveller - went straight across the cockpit in our Pearson. No matter which direction I went in, for the first couple of months I would trip over it which sent me careening into the winch on the mizzen mast, which landed me on my bum. It happened so often my bruises had bruises....

Only with time was I as graceful as a gazelle.......

[sapient sue]

Here is a story to add to those already told - how I met my soul mate

Mike and I were born in the same street - 5 doors apart in a small fishing village in Northumberland and knew each other in early childhood.

However, the meeting part being of most interest was he asked me to be ballast - not to crew or go sailing with him - but ballast. I was 7st (size 6) but he had seen me sailing in a school dinghy and knew I sailed well, while he was without crew and did not have enough weight to correctly sail his dinghy. (even with our combined weights we sailed under weight for our class).

We sailed and raced for many years in that 13ft dinghy. We married at Greenwich Naval Chapel in London in 1969 and our second boat is our beloved 40ft (cutter rigged sloop) Yaraandoo II. We have 17 days to go until our 20th year aboard and 47 years of marriage - so roll on 13 December - the cruising lifestyle is amazing!

cheers Sue

[30yearslater]

Met my mate at a company Christmas party when a friend pointed her out and offered she lived across the street from me. Walking up to her I blurted out, "I know where you live." Great opening line, huh? Her response was equally congenial. "Buzz off creep." Never would have expected that. Two years later I worked up the courage to ask her out in a more appropriate manner. Fortunately she had forgotten my initial approach and agreed. 31 years later we are still married. The downside was her Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis 14 years ago put our sailing plans away for good. The up side is she boots me out to go sailing with many a wonderful female crew members, which I don't understand why more guys aren't interested. The gals appreciate I won't be hitting on them and I get a variety of boat babes to share an adventure with. Many of those have met my Mrs. and now they have become fast friends. They are also grateful she is willing to turn her dog loose so they can hone their sailing skills. The other upside is many of them are becoming so competent they are doing the work with my skills rarely needed so I can enjoy the ride.