How I met my boat mate

[Tetepare]

There is probably already a thread on this, if this is forgive me and share the link.

I see posts on "women on boats" and "where to find a mate" and such things. I have no great insights, so I'll just share my story...

Single father and sailor. Some would say narcissistic sailor, since on weekends we are on the boat, period. We (I) don't do town summer events, family parties, or other ashore crap. No weddings, showers, kiddie birthday parties, bachelor parties, nothing. Summer weekends are boat weekends. Period.

It took me 18 months after I filed for divorce to get the ex booted out of our home. During this time I felt it inappropriate to have another woman in my life lest it effect my little one.

Finally, I joined an online dating site and poked around. I looked a lot. There were plenty of smokin' hot women, including women pictured on boats. You know- bikinis, drinks, the ex cut out of the photo types. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good party, and boating is often about partying, but I didn't want some party chick.

One day I saw a photo of a gal sitting on a rock. Nothing but dusky blue sea behind her, sitting on a rock at the very edge of the stone beach.

Damn, I know that rock. Despite the inability to see where the water and sky split, and no land-based identifiers at all, I know that rock. That's my daughter's rock. That's the one we anchor offshore and she likes to slide down on the lakeside into the water. I KNOW that rock. I know exactly where that is!

I looked at her other photos. Some on boats, some hiking. All respectful. A golf photo? Hmmmm...suspect. Potential problem. But she had a photo of hers and her son's kayaks ("please send photo of boat and motor" ...one of the best funny but serious boating statements ever.)

Now, I am a guy. That means I am retarded. This is no offense to those with Downs Syndrome, it is the reality of being male...innocence and ignorance. Dating websites advise "never tell a woman 'I seen you before!'" and in my innocence I sent her a simple message not expecting anything in return (that's ignorance).

I sent a message "you're on my daughter's rock!" and went on shortly to tell her where that rock is. That's all. Duh. Rule #1 broken. And, I didn't express any interest in her.

Long story short, she suggest we meet at a Pennera. I hate Pannera, or anything like it. I have no use for "Starbucks" type places- crap food at national prices with that neo-suburban atmosphere. I did it anyway, fargin' socialist over-priced generation-whatever junk place. We hit it off.

On our second date (first real date, they have some other name for the first not-internet-date place) I invited her to hike the frozen shoreline. She showed up with snowpants and real boots. Not girl boots, not fashion boots, but real boots. ZZ Top - how how how. Can you hear the music? A real person...and (ooooohhhh) female.

Well, that's about the end of the story. She'll get dirty. She doesn't puke in crappy conditions. She doesn't like to be cold and wet, but doesn't complain (I do). She doesn't bitch about sh*t conditions- "(slam) we're making almost 2knots CMG (slam) we should be there (slam) in 12 hours". She even save us once- "why is there a log sticking up our here?" oh ****, that's not on the chart!

OK, now THAT is the end of my story. I am blessed. The perfect companion and partner is rare- but they are out there.

[senormechanico]

She sounds like a keeper, even more "boatie" than my wife of 46 years.

Blessed ? NO KIDDING !

Take good care of her .

[kmacdonald]

Well what sailboat does she have?

[SV Bacchus]

Uh, yes. That one is a keeper! Only downside I see at all, and I really don't see it happening, is this woman might kick your butt if you leave her and then she takes the boat! She might like it more than you!

My story is I married my love right out of college. Had two great kids but it ended up being a blah, dull relationship. I tried to fix it, she didn't, I went to counseling, she didn't, BOOM, hit the rocks and sank.

I then met a little more lively and outgoing lady who took to me quickly. I was, as a new bachelor, staying in a one bedroom addition to my best friend's business. She was fine with it but soon suggested "Why don't we buy a trawler and live on it?" We were both still working and the thought was we would go work 9 to 5 M thru F and at 6PM on Fri we would untie, motor out to the naked island and stay on the hook until late Sunday. Then return to the dock, tie up and be ready for work on Monday.

Great idea but never came to pass.

Fast forward a couple of years, both now retired and she said "buy me a sailboat or lose me forever" (a takeoff of a line from Topgun!).

House is now on the market and we are looking for our new floating home..

[Tetepare]

Originally Posted by kmacdonald

Well what sailboat does she have?

She now has MY boat. Does it matter if it's a Catalina 22 or an Oyster 53?

[Celestialsailor]

Yes...size matters. So tell us...how long now? I mean how long have you been going out?

[UNCIVILIZED]

You know they make jewelry out of rocks. Even ones you take a chisel to, & then tell the jeweler to use a piece of said chunk into a setting. Know a guy who did that once...

[brianlara 3]

Maybe it's an Aussie thing, maybe universal, I don't know.....but in Australia uncouth old bastards like me have a colloquialism...."p ng in pockets". Similar to urinating into pockets.
Don't think, tetepare, that I'm doing that but your post speaks volumes about your charachter......it was a good read.

[Sea Dreaming]

Tetepare, that is a great story! I especially like the part about her "real boots". The "right" one always wears appropriate footware

Our story is somewhat similar. I wanted a life of change and adventure but the ex wouldn't even move across town.

I met Jim on an Internet dating site.
Our first date was meeting for milk shakes at the mall. One of the first things Jim did was look at my feet and compliment me for not wearing heels or flip flops. ( He also liked that I carry my own muti-tool)

I think Jim introduced the idea of cruising to me on our third date because he wanted to weed out homebodies. Yes! Adventure! 6 years later we are still together and ready to move onto our boat in mx.

The old adage "you can tell a lot about someone by their shoes" still holds true.

[Hudson Force]

Nancie spends time in a pair of red "Chucks", -'seems to qualify!

[Mirage35]

In my late twenties, with no previous knowledge or experience on boats of any kind, on a whim I took a one week live aboard course on Georgian Bay and fell in love with it. Inside of a year I went from newbie to junior instructor (standards were a lot looser in those days ) and taught my first live aboard the next summer.

My crew included a young woman who was also trying boating for the first time, and her reaction was similar. She apparently also liked the instructor - at the end of the week we moved in together and have been together since (now just over thirty years).

The interim included many enjoyable experiences but not a lot of sailing and then, as we approached retirement, we serendipitously rediscovered it. We have now completed refresher courses and a number of short charters (some with acquaintances, a couple with me as captain) and are enthusiastically preparing for more, together.

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

The old adage "you can tell a lot about someone by their shoes" still holds true.

I wish someone would have explained that to me 35 years ago. I could have avoided 2 marriages.

[weavis]

If only it was that easy..................

[belizesailor]

Meet your next mate doing what you love. Ive had the good fortune to meet 2 that way. First, during a regatta. Second, at a marina after she and her ex split up.

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by belizesailor

Meet your next mate doing what you love. Ive had the good fortune to meet 2 that way. First, during a regatta. Second, at a marina after she and her ex split up.

Now there is a man who has it figured out, twice a winner and no self pity because one (or both?) did not work out "forever".