What if chasing the dream means you have to give up a relationship?

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Was he Gay?

Probably not.
Saint-Exupéry married Consuelo Gómez Carillo in 1931. "He wasn't like other people," she wrote later in Mémoires de la rose, "but like a child or an angel who has fallen down from the sky." The marriage was stormy. Consuelo was jealous for good reasons and felt neglected, when her husband did not spend much time at home. He also had affairs with other women.

“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction.”

[Paul Ouellette]

SD :

Tell her you're not comfortable living in a house...& then see if she stays with you on the boat !!

If not...be sure to check the little box that says "LIve Aboard" when you put your profile on E-Harmony.

[dcstrng]

<is more "land based", has claustrophobia…>

This is almost one of those “meaning of life” questions… I generally agree with those who suggest that if you have a strong desire to go cruising (only you know this – how many years have you been harboring the desire), in whatever form you envision it… then the question will nag you until you get to the point where you (yourself) decide that it is no longer a viable option – due to age, disease, genuine change of life-long direction, arising physical inability, competing obligations that you have willingly accepted… or, whatever…

Compromise may work for some, but those few I’ve observed who tried it, admit it is only a work-around at best… I’ve wanted to voyage (not sure what “cruising” is – another indefinite expression that’s cropped up in recent decades) since I was in high-school… chased the craving through several marriages and few long-term relationships; never to actually go anywhere significant… whatever psycho/social defect that seems to compel me to desire the impermanence of disappearing over the horizon probably doomed the relationships as well…At one point I tried a compromise, the small-boat “claustrophobia” problem… with the "promise" of actually going somewhere, I lived aboard for some years on a large (by my standards) ketch, traded up to an even larger boat and lived aboard some more… never got outa sight of land, the dream died… and eventually the relationship as well… draw your own conclusions…

A little less than five years ago wonderful fortune smiled on me... I happened upon a high-school classmate I hadn’t seen or heard from in forty years, and in telling her what had flipped my switch over the years, made a passing remark that I’d once harbored the rather adolescent daydream of sailing around the world, but about ten years back in an decidedly anti-nautical relationship, had conceded defeat and no-longer gave the fantasy any thought… Her response was illuminating – “You should not give up your dreams…” She is now my bride of nearly two years…

At this late date, I may never sail over the horizon, but I now know that I could… and that is 90% of the battle… (say’s he who is contentedly beginning the process of vessel upgrades – upgrades that arguably might seem more robust than actually required for quiet mornings gunkholing in the Potomac…)

Choices, preferences, expenditures and… consequences…

[cathyoz]

what got anything to do with gay? strait or else..
Pelagic
I will recomend to you to read a beautifull book of Antoine de exupery.."the little prince"..
by the awy He was one of the more famous aviator of the 20 centery in Europe, and a renown writer too..
a true aventuror and hero

[David M]

If you and your girlfriend are that different from each other then you are not right for each other anyway. The decision has already been determined. You just needed someone point out what was not so obvious to you.

There are plenty of other women out there who do want to do the same things as you.

[Pelagic]

I will CathyOz.... and the "gay" bit was just a terrible "looking in the same direction" joke.

sometimes my humour is twisted!

[Arch Stanton]

You've all probably seen the 2006 documentary Deep Water, about the '68 Sunday Times race (a race for the first solo, non-stop circumnavigation). A guy who probably would have won, Bernard Moitessier, got 3/4 of the way home and decided that he loved the sea more than his wife and kids, so he turned his boat around in the middle of the Atlantic and started a second solo circumnavigation.

His wife was interviewed in the documentary. She said she was very upset, but knew that he made the right choice and that he couldn't live his life for anyone but himself.

[oldsalt_1942]

Leave the bitch on the beach.

[cathyoz]

his wife and kids, so he turned his boat around in the middle of the Atlantic and started a second solo circumnavigation.

His wife was interviewed in the documentary. She said she was very upset, but knew that he made the right choice and that he couldn't live his life for anyone but himself.[/quote]


Well ,Francoise Moitessier was his wife name and it was not "his" children , but hers , and they where not living with them, she left them to her family to follow Moitessier sailing..ect.. and she help building the boats ,makes the films and documnetaries,,if i my memory is right, She write That after his trip around the world, "he came back , took all the films "THEY" made just for himself " and never return..
she only had no contact with him ,Only years later when he was dying in Hospital in France,then He and call her...she hesitated to go, i think she did as she is ".a nurce " ..
He got all the fame and all the royalties from "THEIR" films..she was left with herself and her beautifull children , and she bought a boat and went sailing with her son..

great book , simple , sincere, humain..i never look at Hero like Moitessier again,,as we all know , behind a great Man , there is a ""greater women"" or few of them somewhere......................................

[Arch Stanton]

Originally Posted by cathyoz

i never look at Hero like Moitessier again,,as we all know , behind a great Man , there is a ""greater women"" or few of them somewhere......................................

Very interesting! The documentary is a little one-sided I guess! I will check that out. Interesting story nonetheless.

[TaoJones]

Originally Posted by cathyoz

Well ,Francoise Moitessier was his wife name and it was not "his" children , but hers , and they where not living with them, she left them to her family to follow Moitessier sailing..ect.. and she help building the boats ,makes the films and documnetaries,,if i my memory is right, She write That after his trip around the world, "he came back , took all the films "THEY" made just for himself " and never return..
she only had no contact with him ,Only years later when he was dying in Hospital in France,then He and call her...she hesitated to go, i think she did as she is ".a nurce " ..
He got all the fame and all the royalties from "THEIR" films..she was left with herself and her beautifull children , and she bought a boat and went sailing with her son..

great book , simple , sincere, humain..i never look at Hero like Moitessier again,,as we all know , behind a great Man , there is a ""greater women"" or few of them somewhere......................................

Welcome to the Forum, Cathy. It's good to have you here.

I hope you won't misunderstand my intent, but I wanted to let you know that I find your writing style and obvious passion utterly charming. I even think I can "hear" a French accent in your prose.

It's hard to tell from your public profile, but I suspect that you are probably a very competent sailor - probably better than most men - and that you've been disappointed, perhaps a few times, by the men in your life. Please, if you don't mind, can you tell us a little about yourself?

TaoJones

[Pelagic]

There is a little bit more to the Mottessier story than that CathyOz.

Francoise very much was a great support to Bernard, but by her own admission on the passage she made with him on Joshua described in (“The Logical Route”) she did not like that kind of sailing, where Bernard redefined heavy weather tactics for monos.

After that, he tried very hard to stay at home with her in the Med, teaching navigation and seamanship by “natural observations”, but the wanderlust got the better of him.

Anybody who has read (“The Long Way”) knows that he went a bit crazy on that voyage and in the end it was his concern for both Francoise and Joshua that brought him back to earth, but as a very changed man.

Francoise was someone who very much supported him from the sidelines when at one point his short lived stardom was like Jacques Cousteau's.

However, the man was formed in Indonesia, had already “Sailed to the Reefs” before getting married and did not need Francoise to be the great sailor he was.

[cathyoz]

can you tell us a little about yourself?

TaoJones[/quote]

it is funny your question..
because i have been solicited so many time ..maybe i will write a book too one days..
a little bit about "myself", make me laught and my friend will laught too...
witch chapter ??
i was not disaptointed by man more than women, no at all more by man than women, either gender are humain being with their good and bad ,but i am ultra independant, so , beleive it or not, men do not like that too much ..
they see their alter ego and they think a bit , but i have great mate and man friends, alas i wish i had more women friends , but i find them so frustating sometime, they are so insecured , grrrrrr..
but there are great cook and great fun too, just a bit "precious " when it come to sailing , camping ..ect..

[cathyoz]

However, the man was formed in Indonesia, had already “Sailed to the Reefs” before getting married and did not need Francoise to be the great sailor he was.[/quote]

i never say that !!!
, i was mentionning the idea of films and reportages , it was HER idea, and the films and reportage was make him famous in France..and noone never mention her ...

and i do have a sens of humour too to tease and provoc reaction ..

[cathyoz]

it was his concern for both Francoise and Joshua that brought him back to earth, but as a very changed man.

Pelagic?
do you realise that you mention Francoise and Joshua in the same level ??
Francoise is an human being
Joshua a boat , !! a steel boat ..only a material objet ( that, if i recaul she ( francoise ) help to built too ..by the way ..