What if chasing the dream means you have to give up a relationship?

[sundowner]

I've always wanted to incorporate sailing into a business or at least a long term crusing lifestyle. My girlfriend is great in so many ways, but has pretty much decided that she wouldn't like sailing for more than a week at a time, is more "land based", has claustrophobia, and can't see herself living on a sailboat. She loves me too, but seems like we're coming to an impasse. Is chasing the dream worth losing a relationship?

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by sundowner

I've always wanted to incorporate sailing into a business or at least a long term crusing lifestyle. My girlfriend is great in so many ways, but has pretty much decided that she wouldn't like sailing for more than a week at a time, is more "land based", has claustrophobia, and can't see herself living on a sailboat. She loves me too, but seems like we're coming to an impasse. Is chasing the dream worth losing a relationship?

The reply is too short but it is;

Yes.

[S/V Elusive]

ayup - and I have the three ex-g/fs to prove it.

That decision is very personal, and I would never venture to advise you on what is right for you. I will say that cruising is as fulfilling a lifestyle as any relationship I have ever had. This may or may not be the case for you.

[sailorgal]

That is a hard decision and ultimately one that only you can make.

My feelings are that since this is something you've always wanted to do, it's what you should do. If you give up your dream and stay with the girl, you will always resent it and her. Have you asked yourself why she would want you to give up your dream? Why do you have to give up what you want and she doesn't?

Relationships come and go, but dreams, if they are true dreams, will last.

That's probably not what you want to hear, but unless she is willing to see you happy and make some compromises, I think you would be happier in the long run if you follow your dream without her.

And this is coming from a girl!

[imagine2frolic]

DO YOU WANT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT IF'S? Been there, and done that. Finally got one that goes where ever the boat goes

[cabo_sailor]

Tough choice and one I never wanted to make. I always made it a prerequisite that anyone I was dating had to like the water and sailing. I lucked out. Although not the case with me, I do know a few fellows whose girlfriends "loved" sailing until they got a gold ring.

[liberty16]

What is your level of experience with long term cruising? Is this still a dream or have you lived it and know that cruising is the lifestyle you want? People split up over lifestyle differences all the time, I wouldn't sweat it. But, maybe keep an open mind until you are totally sure.

[Capt Roy]

Ultimately you are the only one who can make this decision. Speaking for myself the answer is easy, YES!

In the process of following your dream and staying true to yourself you will meet someone that not only will love you but also will embrace the cruising lifestyle and enhance your experiences.

Walking away from your dream will be something you will regret for a lifetime and as someone else stated, “you will come to resent it and her.”

Follow your heart and everything will fall into place.

Smooth Sailing

Roy
S/V Knight Hawk Home

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by sundowner

Is chasing the dream worth losing a relationship?

Yes. Ditch her.

She will never let you have fun if you drag her along.

Consider this. Picture 10 years down the road. You are having an argument with you wife (current girl friend). She is telling you all that is wrong with you, and then it happens. You tell how much she has taken from you because you gave up cruising for her. It might never happen, but relationships should always be built on shared dreams, or those dreams will eventually divide you.

[High Cotton]

SELFISH !!!!!!
The ONLY explanation for her wanting you to dump your dream and stay "ashore" with her............
Unfortunetly, she's NOT a part of your dream, she's a ROAD-BLOCK!
The "key" here is, NO RING !!!!!

"Lots of fish in the sea"!
What's wrong finding an "island" girl, there's lots of 'em that would love to be sailing!

[scallywag]

SailingWoo,
I can not advise you on what to do. I got married, dreamed many dreams, and had to create ways to acheive some dreams. A liveaboard sailboat was one dream.. I have decided to sail solo and have her fly in to places of interest. She will do small sheltered one or two week trips then fly home. For my anticipated transatlantic voyage, I will sail solo if necessary and fly her to Europe. Because I married before the sailing dream, I will not break the relationship now. Life is full of decisions. This is your decision.

John

[Palarran]

She may change her mind also. I've been married 17 years, had the dream before marrage, and still do. Family, career, and life prevents me from living it. Last year I told my wife I was leaving for a 2 year period when my children graduate from high school. She can come or not. For 6 months she avoided the topic until I flew to the boat show">Miami boat show to check out boats. Now she knows I'm serious and wants details. I see it working out like Scallywag. She will join me when she can. Maybe more.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but finding one you trully love and loves you back is pretty rare.
Have you taken her for a week of chartering?

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by sundowner

I've always wanted to incorporate sailing into a business or at least a long term crusing lifestyle. My girlfriend is great in so many ways, but has pretty much decided that she wouldn't like sailing for more than a week at a time, is more "land based", has claustrophobia, and can't see herself living on a sailboat. She loves me too, but seems like we're coming to an impasse. Is chasing the dream worth losing a relationship?

I think if you have to ask, then you already know your answer......but for the right person the answer is also obvious. Nothing wrong with Dreams changing.

Of course you could be wrong But that's life